Black and white town

The problem with coolio doods: partying

2009-11-11T20:51:00.002+08:00

well after the hell that was O levels, i (and many other singaporean youths) am free!!! so of course the first thing that came to my mind was blogging about coolio doods so my adoring fans can read my humourous opinions!...well ok actually it was more like the...millionth thing, but i didn't forget about this ok! anyways, here we go.

why do people party? well obviously it's to be with their friends, jump around, have fun and drink drinks that have funny names. That's all well and good, but why is it that only socially "cool" people party? why don't geeks, nerds and so called uncool people party? surely they have friends to be with and surely they like to have fun right?

personally, i fall into the geek/nerd/uncool person category, i don't enjoy partying at clubs, i don't enjoy loud thumping music, jumping around, being squeezed in with a huge crowd of attractive people and paying exorbitant amounts of money for a small glass of something. In fact, if i were to go to a party, my gloom and stubborn behaviour would probably be a huge wet blanket.(speaking of wet blanket, ever wonder how the expression came about?)

but i digress, this isn't about me. this is actually about something far more important. why is partying seen as cool? why is it that people who appear at parties are so awesomely cool? and this actually brings about another problem. uncool people who go to parties are suddenly accepted by everyone in the cool crowd. now i don't know about you, but that just doesn't sit right with me.

this means that many many many people are going to go partying, JUST TO BE COOL, now if you ask me....thats just...not very cool at all. what's the point of being cool if you're just going to lose yourself in the process? have people forgotten how to be themselves? are all the teenagers in the world really THAT superficial? well no, that's not true. but the amount of people who are going just cause it's cool is alarmingly high.

don't get me wrong, i have no problems with people partying. only the ones who are going to "see and be seen" that's just ridiculous.

of course this all has to link back to coolio doods right? well it's true, coolio doods will usually party. it's the cool, fun, socially accepted thing to do. and if they want to do that, fine by me. but this time, it's the wannabes i have a problem with. they are some people who really really enjoy jumping around in a crowd of people and drinking funny drinks in a dark, hot room with loud thumping music, i'm fine with that. but for the one's who are just.....going. well they should just stop it. they really need to stop and ask themselves "is this really who i am?" and they need to be totally truthful with themselves.

obviously i'm going on about this because of the "M" party thing that's going on after my school's grad night. so for those who are going, well i hope you have the best of times. for those just going there to be seen and cause it's socially accepted, ask yourself who you really are. and for those you aren't going, i salute you.

me? well i'll be at home with my best friends. My keyboard, my mouse, my wii and my plastic guitar.

The problem with coolio doods : Coolio dood fashion

2009-09-20T22:50:00.002+08:00

as we all know, coolio doods are no doubt at the fore front of coolness and fashion and blah. but some people may be puzzled on how to identify a coolio dood on the streets. the easiest way to identify a suspect would be to look at his clothing (whether he's really a coolio dood depends on his personality, that takes more investigation)

but anyway, here i shall attempt to make a guide to identifying coolio dood suspects

starting with

Footwear: Haviana slippers when it's casual (with shorts/bermudas) cause they're cool and fashionable and come in many colours, and as we all know, colours show how sensitive you might be. for actual SHOES, it's converse FTW with coolio doods. especially ones with bright and loud colours, also with different coloured laces. "exotic" materials are also very common (leather, denim etc etc) other than converse shoes, branded sneakers are very very common, pumas, nike, addidas, you name it. BUT the absolute best a coolio dood can get in terms of sneakers would be ONITSUKA TIGERS because....well i dont know, they're "nice" i guess, personally i've never worn a pair, but whatever, they're cool, isn't that all that matters to kids nowadays?

Pants: skinny jeans! because they show off they're sexy, fit and attractive legs! either that, or bermudas! because.....ok this is another one i can't explain, but i guess EVERYONE wears bermudas right? but still, when a coolio dood wears it, it's SO different because he'll be COOL when he's wearing it, showing off his tanned calves and stuff.

Belts: hmmm......not just any belt, belt's that have a large, ridiculous buckle.....and it's usually shiny....like the peace sign or something. you know, the sort of belt that's there for style's sake, not for holding your pants up

hands/wrists: branded expensive watches, leather or metal, no cheap plastic or rubber for coolio doods because they're EXTREMLY CLASSY AND COOOOOL. yeah...they also wear rings sometimes, this is a lot rarer but it still happens, and it's really retarded, but COOL. and wristbands, ok, i honestly thought these things went out of style years ago, but the coolio dodos have proven me wrong! because these bands are so cool and stylish!.......

Torso: Tight Pink T-shirt!! YES THE SORT THAT HOMOSEXUALS WEAR, apparently dressing like a homosexual is cool? hmmm you may call it being fashionable, but homo is homo. so....dont argue. but anyways yes T-shirts! and they must be tight and show they're muscly torso's. also, wearing long sleeved formal shirts with bermudas.....that just always looked wrong to me. and finally to top it all off, be "formal" by putting on a VEST. YES PEOPLE, A VEST IS CONSIDERED FORMAL IN COOLIO DOOD TERMS. no i'm sorry, just put a proper coat on.

Neckwear: hmm.....i dont know about this, but i'm sure there's an idiot out there running around with some nonsensical necklace that means...something stupid.....

Face: hmm once again....not much here... sunglass maybe? but thats rarer than other things. piercings? thats for the more hardcore coolio doods i guess, cause poking random holes in yourself is cool.....thats just retarded.

Headwear: ahh this is an interesting one. CAPS AND FEDORAS, yes caps and fedoras are just super super uber cool. and they're cool EVERYWHERE, no matter the situation, no matter what event, it's COOL. also, the cap should also say something meaningful...or witty.....bright colours are also good for caps.

ok i think that about covers everything, if i missed anything out, please leave a comment. if you feel offended, or if you find my writing super lousy (language-wise) please leave a comment. (and a good comment please, i dont want any sarcastic crap.....like the english exam..all the barker boys would know.)

and once again, i'd like to remind you all that this isn't exhaustive at all, it's just me, making a very valid point.

until next time

The Problem With Coolio Doods: Bi-sexuality

2009-09-01T22:03:00.003+08:00

hello hello

it's been a pretty long while, but with exams and such, i haven't really had time to do another chapter since i've been busy mugging super hard! (hmmmm)

so anyway, here we go.

Coolio doods are bi-sexual, why do i say this? we-lllll, when i see pictures of guys hanging around on a couch in nothing but their boxers, i'm really have no choice but to assume that their bi-sexual. I mean, what other conclusion is there? sure it might be more comfortable ( i dont know personally because TIGHTY WHITIES FTW) but seriously, isn't it slighty homo-sexual to do that? I KNOW they're not exactly throwing themselves on each other in a homo-sexual manner, but.....still, it IS very gay to do that no?

but of course, it's alright for coolio doods to do this. my question is, why is this? is it because simply they are buff and attractive therefore are allowed to parade around in their undies? and that still doesn't answer the homo-sexuality question. but of course i suppose it's SO MANLY TO HANG AROUND IN BOXERS BECAUSE THEY'RE SURROUNDED BY EACH OTHERS TESTOSTERONE. personally, i dont buy that for a moment.

ok, notice that i've been calling them homos? but this chapter is titled Bi-sexuals? ok, it seems that coolio doods are allowed to hang around in their boxers and look really gay, and yet, they're not gay cause they still go looking for girls. the sad thing is girls seem to respond to this sort of behaviour. my question is, WHY!?!?!

girls, if you see a group of guys hanging around in boxers, you'd say they're gay right? (please say yes if you're reading this) SO WHY THROW YOURSELVES AT THEM? like seriously, if a guy is gay....naturally you wouldn't right?....so why is this? i really dont know, it's a really interesting phenomenon really......

so in conclusion, hanging around in boxers is cool, nope, it's not gay, it's cool. but wait up! all you g33ks and nerds reading! DONT TRY THAT THE NEXT TIME YOU GO OVER TO YOUR FRIENDS PLACE FOR A .....WOW DUNGEON RAID THING! This is becauseeee, it's only cool to hang around half naked if you're buff, attractive, tanned and most of all, A COOLIO DOOD.

now before i go, i'd like to reiterate a certain point. the point that, i dont hate coolio doods, yes i am writing about them, and yes i dont really like these actions they do. HOWEVER, not all coolio doods are assholes (those are called douchebags), and i do NOT hate them, yes indeed i do have coolio dood friends and yes indeed they ARE nice people.

and girls, i'm not saying you're sluts by saying you throw yourself at them, it's just a.....humourous illustration.

so all in all, read this with a light heart and dont take it too seriously, in the end, this isn't an exhaustive case study, it's the ramblings of an irritated 16 year old g33k.

(on second thought, take it HALF seriously, it's not ALL a joke ok!)

and as always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and suggestions are always greatly appreciated, so leave a comment!

until next time

The problem with coolio doods: some other things

2009-08-01T22:58:00.005+08:00

like i said last time, not all coolio doods are assholes, and i dont hate them all. i just hate those that are total douches. they think they rule the world and that everyone owe's them something. i mean seriously, grow up, the world doesn't owe you anything.

now theese coolio doods think they can do what they want, when they want. they only play by they're own rules, now thats just damn irritating. like seriously, you're only human just like anyone of us, you're in no way better than us. and just because you play a sport, have huge muscles, dress in pink clothing, wear silly hats, and take "deep" pictures, doesn't make you any better than us.

on the other hand, there are nice coolio doods, these are the people that are my friends, or i think seem pretty nice. of course, the only thing wrong with them is that...well they're coolio doods. and yes, that means that they probably wear silly hats, play cool games, and take stupid pictures.

ok, after i did the chapter on the colour pink, i realise it's really really hard to dedicate 1 post to 1 certain aspect of a coolio dood, i just dont have enough material, and everytime i start writing a post, my mind mysteriously (and irritatingly) goes blank. so like my first chapter, i'll list out some other points about coolio doods

now i've already written about how coolio doods play the guitar, play a sport, go clubbing, wear silly hats and wear pink clothing.

i didn't include the "knows more than 1 girl" point because after the writing of the first post, i realised that's a idiotic and childish point from me...and it's very untrue since you have to be a totaly introvert, or a boo radley, not to know any girls.

ok so anyway, among the things listed above, there are plenty more characteristics of a coolio dood.

1)they love taking "deep photos"

2)they play only certain games, and not all the time

ok, next time you walk down orchard road, try and see all the people carrying DSLR cameras, now i'll bet with you that less than half the people are serious photographers, most of the time, they're idiot coolio doods trying to look cool. you know, "look at me, i need to carry my camera with 2 hands, i'm so prozxzxz (or 1337)" now personally, i was never a camera person, when i look at a picture, i just go..."thats nice" and i really can't see any dynamic in photos and art in general. but coolio doods will go to great length to show you how great and deep they're photo is.

look at this photo

done? ok if you ask me, all i see is a solitary park bench, if you interrogate me further, i'll probably say the picture looks sad.

now lets just say a coolio dood took this photo,if you ask him what it means, he'll probably say something like this

"the picture is a window to my mind, soul and heart, the barren land represents my mind,
it is desolate and empty, life has become meaningless for me. the bench represents my heart, solitary and alone, i am alone, there is only myself, the world has left me. the tree represents my soul, it is alone and bare, i am alive, only barely. there is no one, i am alone."

ok i know i might be exaggerating slightly. and yes, when coolio doods take pictures, i KNOW they dont explain them. but still, you KNOW that they're thinking all that in their head and congratulating themselves for being so deep.

ok now besides that, there's the issue of videogames.

coolio dood gamers only play trendy "in" games, such as DOTA (not so much now) L4D, umm WOW, Guitar Hero...and some other things.

the difference between real gamers and coolio dood gamers is this, real gamers will know about a game wayy before time, if they're interested, they'll follow it all the way until release, read some reviews, and buy it. and it doesn't have to be a big game, it can be any random ridiculous sounding game. coolio dood gamers buy games cause it's cool to, they play games cause all of their coolio dood friends are playing. and it's ALWAYS a big, famous, AAA title. a game that everyone plays, it's never and obscure game that not many people play.

thats the thing you see, coolio dood gamers think small obscure games a crap, and thats just not true, and it really irritates the hell out of me when i talk about a game, and someone says it sounds like shit, cause it's just not. just cause you haven't seen it in the news or on billboards, doesn't mean it's crap.

real gamers are really interested in games, coolio doods are just....well they say they like gaming cause it's fun, but really.....it's just being cool to them.

now that ends this chapter, any suggestions for future chapters and comments on my writing in general will be greatly appreciated...unless you're telling me nonsense. (jevon i'm looking at you)

The problem with colio doods: the simple simple reason

2009-07-31T01:07:00.002+08:00

If there's one true definition for a coolio dood, it's this : A teenage boy who does certain things and engages in certain activities because it's so cool, and because they think it'll make them totally cool.

But thats the thing, i dont hate all coolio doods, i have friends who are definitely coolio doods, they are my friends right? so obviously i dont hate them. but the ones that i hate are the ones who think they own the world and the world revolves around they're cool attractive bodies.

i hate coolio doods, simply because, well, they're total bastards. they do things cause it's "nice"
for example " i drink beer because beer is nice" yeah no screw you, thats total bullshit. they do it because it makes them so undeniably "cool" or "kewl" or "qoolz"

and it's really sad that people flock to this coolio doods because of they're koolness. why do they? why dont they see past they're stupid facade? it's really really sad that pretty girls launch themselves at these guys and how normal nice guys dont get anyone.

what people need to understand is that coolio doods hang out in packs for a reason, it's because when they're alone, they're totally insecure.

perhaps an even sadder fact is that, no one is born a coolio dood, it is developed and nurtured from young, and once they get to our age, they've built a veneer confidence and coolness that makes them so irresistible.

and finally, perhaps the reason that i despise them so much is that, i am simply envious and jealous of them. sad right?

i guess i'll explain more next time

until then

The problem with coolio doods: pink!? seriously!?!?

2009-07-23T21:05:00.003+08:00

coolio doods are intruiging things, and since i really really do enjoy writing about them, and also since i dislike them so strongly, i'm gonna continue writing about them.

Today's topic is the girly girly colour that is pink.

Now, when we're all small kids, pink was branded as a typically female colour, why so? well i dont know, we were small kids, we didn't really know any better. But you see, thats the thing, for us to not know anything, and still yet be able to identify the fact that pink is primarily a girl's colour proves that pink is indeed a girl's colour. (no discrimination to girls whatsoever, please dont kill me) So my point is that pink is generally a girl's colour.

However! our good friends the coolio doods have managed to turn this around, claiming that " real men wear pink because they're comfortable with their sexuality". At first, this may seem like a pretty credible argument, but no, trust me it isn't. "pink is a colour for real men" is just a pathetic excuse for them to show how "sensitive" they are. "look i'm wearing pink, i'm feminine and therefore sensitive" and as i explained in my last post, coolio doods love being "sensitive".

and come on, besides coolio doods, who wears pink shirts? i'll give you a moment to think about that.............................................................YES THATS RIGHT, HOMOSEXUALS! so the coolio doods are just comparing themselves to homosexuals, great right? BUT NOOO, coolio doods are so impeccably cool! so there's no way they're like homosexuals! (no offence to any homos out there, truth be told i'm pretty cool with you lot)

pink? i'm sorry guys, it's a girls colour, and it (most of the time) makes you look gay, and dont even try the "its not a gay pink" argument, pink is pink, and pink is a girl's colour. and i'm sorry, pink can be nice, but it really doesn't make you any more sensitive, or cool, or attractive.

pink is for real men....give me a break

guitar hero is for real men...ahh now there's some truth to that statement..............

the problem with coolio doods

2009-07-19T20:26:00.004+08:00

Prelims are in 3 or so weeks, as usual i'm really not prepared, but i guess i'm a little bit more prepared than my mid years. so lets all hope i avoid another 40 point disaster.

school's been a real drag, i know i say that a lot, but seriously it's a lot worse now. sitting in the same spot the whole day, and the days are so hot now, it's really difficult to sleep in class without getting your whole shirt soaked. so..yeah thats why i dont sleep in class...right?

so now, on to my main topic for this post, what i call "coolio doods"

now for all those reading this who know me and talk to me frequently, you'd know that i have a huge problem with what i call coolio doods. in case you're seeing this term for the first time, a coolio dood is a guy who

1)plays the guitar - this is probably the first and most important point of a coolio dood

2)plays a sport - not as necessary, but most coolio doods play a sport, tennis is the most coolio dood-ish sport

3)goes clubbing and drinks alcohol - cause we all know how cool clubbing and getting drunk is right? IT SO COOL

4)has more than 1 friend who's a girl - well ok by this age most guys know plenty of girls, but coolio doods go out a lot more with these girls cause....THEY'RE SO COOL

5)wears caps - because flattening hair makes them even more pretty boy-ish

6)have camera's who can hold with 2 hands - cause that makes them look pro and taking photos on weird colours is sensitive

ok actually there's plenty more points, but i really could go all day with this. so anyway, i really cannot stand coolio doods and their drinks and guitar-speak and their pretty girls and their damn confidence.

firstly, their damn guitars, i cannot stand coolio doods who play guitars cause guitars are cool. now you see, i admire people who are really really good, eddie van halen, brian may, kirk hammett, yes they're all awesome and i respect them and their guitar-playing. but i dont respect these guys who play guitars cause it's so cool, and so they can impress people with their "musical talent" and of course there are those who write "music" cause it's so sensitive, then they play they're "music" to their pretty girlfriends cause it's SO sweet.

secondly, partying, ok personally, i dont have a huge problem with partying, i just dont like clubbing and parties in general, but i dont like the fact that they think it's really cool, cause being crammed in a room full of sweaty, drunk, gross people really isn't my idea of cool. maybe it is, and i'm just being unfashionable as usual, and i really wouldn't be surprised if that was the case, but i'm just saying......it doesn't seem all that cool..all this clubbing business

thirdly, their "sensitivity", now as all of you would probably know, teenage boys always always become very different when speaking with girls alone, i know all the teenage boys reading this will all go "NOO JAMES YOU STUPID GAY-BOY THATS NOT TRUE, YOU'RE JUST STUPID SOO STOOPID!" but trust me, it's right, whether they like it or not, it's true. they all suddenly become sweet and nice and they suddenly forget every swear word they know, but seriously, who are you kidding? girls our age are smarter than that!(or at least i like to think they are) they would know that you're just being an idiotic, hormone driven boy. so yes, coolio doods who act sensitive and have irritating msn PM's like "the last goodbye" or "for you, nothing is too much" piss me off so much. i wish they'd just cut the crap, and be a little more honest with themselves and the world around them. YOU'RE A TEENAGE BOY, BE A LITTLE MORE BRAINLESS.

fourthly, the photo's, ok, once again this doesn't apply to all coolio doods, and coolio doods who own camera's are rarer than the usual sort. but yes, these coolio doods will take a picture in black and white about ANYTHING and that anything will become the window to their soul. a good example is : a plain black and white picture of a park bench, the park bench is off-centre. sounds like your typical emo-ish photo right? coolio doods can interpret it a whole different way. "the park bench represents the window to my soul, the leaves on the sidewalk represent the suffering i feel trapped in this monotone world, i am lost, but at the same time, i find myself" see? this sort of pointless crap, what they're telling the world is "LOOK AT ME, I'M SO SENSITIVE AND DEEP OMG I UNDERSTAND SO MANY THINGS" but no, trust me, it doesn't mean anything at all.

ok, i know this doesn't apply to ALL boys, or all sportsmen, or all guitar-players, or hat-wearers. but yes, this species of teenage boy that i call "coolio dood" (scientific name "coolious dooodius extremus stoopiditus") does exist, you see them everywhere, or at least, everywhere around town. for all those reading this, please, don't ever become one.

and so, until next time

woo hoo! school!

2009-06-30T22:41:00.007+08:00

contrary to popular belief, my blog is NOT dead, im just busy...like studying (no really)

so school has finally started again, yes the time where A1 boys jump for joy and everyone else pretty much suddenly starts having bad bouts of migraine and tiredness.

personally, i really can't complain, it's actually really been a great holiday, like i actually did work (REALLY OK) and i went out enough, didn't go nuts, annnd it just felt like a nice, fulfilling holiday. i mean like during the holidays, i wanted to do 2 things

1.study (seriously)

2.get guitar hero smash hits and play through the fire and flames until my fingers break...then play some more

i actually did no.1 ok (for the last time, i swear i studied) and didnt get a chance to do no.2 cause...the game took a hell of a long time to come out, and i had no money. ironically i got the game on the first day of school (thanks guys)

and so 2 days into school and i'm sooooooooooososo bored, i'd really much rather stay home, and not cause i want to play until my fingers break, i actually want to study (believe me). i believe that school really kills the mood to study. so please, MOE? or MOH? just close school down, then make O levels easier. trust me it'll work.

but then again, school has it's perks, i get to see my horny (wei wen), immature (mark tan) ,retarded (gan chai), british (troy), aussie (becker) and bi-sexual (micah) friends. sure it's fun to hang out with them, until they all fall asleep.

well school's just a real drag. i hope the H1N1 situation gets worse, and i mean that in the best way possible, like for our own good.

until next time

late late late

2009-06-14T03:07:00.003+08:00

well it's 3.08am and i can't sleep, so things are normal in my life i guess.

this past week has been a real blast

I went out with the apache kids! yeah we went to celebrate my birthday, and they were all really sweet, they made me cake and cookies and everything! then we went to watch monsters vs aliens in 3-D, i now realise how irritating 3-D movies are, everythings all dark and sometimes you can't see things properly. jessie was super cute! i think it was her first time watching a 3-D movie and she wanted to reach out and touch the things. HAHA oh and ashley gave me an awesome shirt! omg did i mention it's awesome? yeah it's awesome.

then yesterday i went out with vernon and a whole bunch of other people, at first it was me, vernon, gilda, desiree, deanna and desiree's friends, una and min lin. then deanna left, and then desiree's friends left, then the 4 of us went to watch a movie, it was SUPPOSED to be night at the museum 2, but unfortunately (very...very unfortunately) tickets were sold out, so vernon and i were put through 1 and a half hours of PAIN by watching hannah montana, goodness it was so....yeah i dont really wanna talk about it. then after that we went to the starbucks near forum to sit around and talk, everything was real quiet, good i guess, gave me plenty of time to think. and that outing gave me plenty to think about.

ok i lied, so maybe my week wasn't THAT exciting...buuut it's above average for me! so anyways tomorrow i'm gonna meet daniel and maybe dylan and we're gonna watch the acjc CO concert, i'm really looking forward to see all my seniors again. as usual, i miss all of them quite a lot.

2 more weeks of holidays to go, i wish there was more time. but oh well, sometimes we really can't have everything we want right?

oh and someone buy me guitar hero: smash hits! PLEEEEAAASSEEE! please please pretty please? someone? anyone?

yawn

2009-06-05T00:22:00.002+08:00

americans lie about their idiotic sweet 16s, it's not realistic for 16 year olds to get wayy too expensive cars for their 16th birthdays, i can't imagine myself the proud owner of a porsche now or something, hell i can't even drive yet.

but enough of that

holidays have been really boring so far, since i spend my time either studying or in school. boring right? well after my spectacular(ly bad results). my parents have gone all psycho on me studying every minute of every day, even though like normal parents "they only want the best for me" thats fine i guess. in a way.

soo for my craptastic results, i got the magical blue slip, which grants me super-special access to the principal/vice-principal's office. ooooo, well yeah i got judy yeow, very not good if you ask me. she would've been the last principal i'd choose if i actually had a choice, but oh well. as expected, i hate her, she's so.....well yeah nevermind.

besides that...hmmm... i had chinese O's (oooo first O level) it was alright i guess. better than expected, i'm actually feeling confident, something i haven't felt for chinese in about...i dunno 6-7 years?

then last night nic wong, gan chai and wei wen came over to my place to...hang out? we played guitar hero and stuff, once again pretty boring normal stuff.

damn i'm running out of things to blog about aren't i?

until next time i guess

Nobuo Uematsu = Musical Genius

2009-05-24T00:58:00.008+08:00

wow ok time has flown by after syf, since then i've found myself waist deep in crap so...well here goes

since syf, exams have come and gone, and well....damn man i'm so screwed. thats all i really want to say about exams, i really do not wanna think about my results right now.

but on a lighter note, yesterday i went to "Distant Worlds: Music from Final Fantasy" with ashley which was.........freaking awesome, i cannot say how epic it was, it was totally amazing. and so if you ask ashley, he'll say that throughout the whole thing i was super excited and exactly like a fan girl, personally i prefer fan boy since....well i'm a boy. and hey how could i not be excited! it was fantastic. but the best part of the night (other than the part where the concert master's phone rang LOL) was when i got Nobuo Uematsu's and Arnie Roth's autograph. it was so cool, and so yes i'm now the proud owner of a autographed distant worlds T shirt, which i am NOT selling.

so far, i think that has been the high point in my year so far, i mean other than syf. speaking of syf, syf night is this coming thursday, yup my last performance with my beloved barker CO, the final time stepping on stage with them, and guess what i found out today.

TICKETS ARE FREAKING SOLD OUT OMGWTF

yeah....so...my last performance and no one i know is going to be there to see it........oookay, i guess i gotta prepare to argue with rachel ong to get some secret tickets or something

well i hope i can get them, i'm really anxious about it, and something tells me that i'm going to get the "too bad who asked you not to buy" answer

sighh well ok thats all for now, holidays are around the corner but looks like i'm really gonna need to study this time.

until next time

We are one

2009-04-25T23:25:00.005+08:00

there can only be one Barker CO
thats us
the one and the only

yes we got gold, man i really really love that feeling, it's so great. sad that it might actually be my last time feeling it.

and so with syf being over, my life in Barker CO is pretty much over, what a journey it's been, from being that little lonely kid in sec 1, then rushing like mad in sec 2, then being totally screwed up in sec 3, and finally here we are, the end of it all, in sec 4, going through tough practice, being tired mostly all the time, and most importantly, being with my juniors.

yes my juniors, im so proud of all 62 of them, and i really love (not in a gay way) every single one of them. in the time we had together, i got to know every one of them a little bit (perhaps some more than others) and i really had lots of fun with them. and hopefully, i gave them some good memories to look back on (as wrong as that might sound but you know what i mean right?).

CO has played a huge part in my life, without CO i might have never gotten into music, without CO i would've never met my great seniors or my wonderful juniors, and think about it, if i never joined CO, many of you reading this would have 1 less thing to laugh at me at (dont lie you KNOW me being in CO is funny)

and so here's to some people in CO

Benedict: ah yes, the one and only workaholic conductor, the one and only miracle worker, and the one man that stood by our side and led us through the toughest times, without him, barker would have never gotten gold, we would have never gotten gold 2 years ago without him. without him, well, we really wouldn't have a lot without him. i am eternally grateful for all he's given to CO, and all he's given me. He made me realise the meaning of music, made me appreciate it and he's made me see life in a different prespective. he is one man that i will always respect.

Moses: another man that i will always respect, both for who he is as a person and for his insane skills. he's a guy that i believe has seen a lot in his life, and he is someone that i would say has "seen both sides of the story"....if you know what i mean ( i dont think you do) but whatever it is, he's someone that earned my respect from the first day he starting teaching us, and his skill in both erhu and conducting is just....wow. when he starts conducting, i actually feel a power from him, and i suddenly feel happy to be playing......i swear the secret to his skill is his hair

Dylan: ah the super concert master who's also a super idiot. this is the boy who quickly became my best friend in CO, from the first day he came in and the end of sec 1, until now, he's a really really nice guy, and like i said, probably the ultimate idiot. and what a lot of people dont realise is that under that idiotic exterior (especially his damn hair) is a boy who is really skilled in what he does. he may not show it, but he really is rather good. he is my friend, he is my brother and he is my concert master. (dylan if you're reading this, you still owe me 20)

Moey: HAH skeleton king! the small kid who quickly grew into our most skill dizi player. he has lots and lots of talent in music, and he's also one of my best friends. in terms of music, i respect him to no end, and yes i respect his sense of justice and his morals. i feel that in many ways, he's like me. pity he's a total idiot when it comes to girls....

Kai Hong: you fool! the little china boy who practiced so hard, yes he practiced oh so hard. he's a great erhu player and a good friend who tries his best in everything he does. and if you're reading this, Dont you dare ever get ahead of yourself, i'll kill you if you do.

Daryl: ah the cute little kid, im so lucky that at the end of it all, i finally got to know you and be your friend. you're really someone who is full of life, and at the same time, so full of nonsense. if you're reading this, remember, you still got 1 more syf to go, you better keep the gold up and dont worry, i'll be back to visit. dont kill anyone while im away

ok i know thats not everyone, but hey i can't possibly write something about everyone right? it'd take me forever. but for now, here's some pictures from syf

Daryl and me

i think this was the first photo we took at jack's place, i can just imagine dylan doing that to his girlfriend in the future.

can you spell ACT?

ashley's (very uninspirational) "inspirational" face

Jerald, kai hong, and si ler, jerald kinda looks like a paedo.....creepy

Ashley and Noel

Look at the only indian kid in CO!!!

i never knew joshua could be this cute LOL

Sec 1 wonderkid Bryan, DAMN CUTE

me and bryan, still damn cute DARYL YOU RUINED THE PIC YOU ASS

Dylan and Richard Somehow this reminds me of GTA, dont ask me how but it does

Ashley and Me

Nick, Richard and me, Nick is so cute!

Gold

2009-04-22T22:07:00.003+08:00

gold? we never deserved anything less

more next time

hectic weekend...again

2009-04-12T15:09:00.003+08:00

what a weekend, it's been a totally hectic, stressful and fun weekend, no idea how to describe it

well so on friday, after waking up from my 16 hour sleep, i woke my mum up so she could give me a ride to school forrr CO, so yes in the end i didnt go to church in the morning, i probably regret it, but Mr Ng's words still ring in my mind, so i went to school, then to lunch with kai hong, after that i headed home for like....very short, then i headed back out to meet gilda at church. she told me church started at 5, so i was there at 5 on the dot....guess what, mass was at 6....ookkaayyy well at least gilda was totally hilarious and retarded.

more guidelines for people going to speak to gilda for the first time

1) she's retarded

2) she has the memory span of 5 seconds

3) NEVER EVER GO TO CHURCH WITH HER, DAMN NOISY!

4) she points at small children.....IN THE MIDDLE OF MASS, WTH!

5) did i mention she's retarded?

haha well so after mass with her i went back home and...had dinner i think, can't quite remember.

then yesterday, i woke up to go to CO (again) so co was normal and boring i guess, getting nearer and nearer to syf, i think all the instructors are getting edgier, but well yes syf is in 8 days, we must keep that in mind. after sectionals in the morning, we had lunch, the pravir's parents very nicely provided, then we had combined practice which was.....dramatic? i mean the permanent dismissal of a player, and a teacher scolding us, and a chairman getting all emotional over someone disrespecting him ( i wonder if he realises that everyone disrespects him), goodness it was a strange practice, after the whole thing i just wanted to quit CO, i mean...to me, CO really shouldn't be like this, it's really retarded if you ask me, all this dramatic nonsense. but fine whatever. oh and my idiot junior threw my slippers on to the concert hall balcony and realised the door was locked.....he is SO lcuky that the security guard and the keys to upstairs if not i would have had to kill him and go home barefoot.

ok then today...has been really crappy so far, i swear my parents are damn irritating, jeez they really need to try living the life of the modren teenager before talking and scolding. and whenever people say "you know i really dont like scolding / nagging at you" well...if they dont like it, why not just DONT DO IT? i mean isn't that the logical solution? stupid adults...think they understand everything.

anyway thats all for now, and to CO, we're getting nearer to syf, we must work, we must do our best, we must prove the world wrong.

being sick sucks

2009-04-10T08:15:00.003+08:00

i dont have much time right now, i'll post all about it next time but right now, i feel pretty weird and stupid after almost 16 hours of sleep ( about 15 hours 40mins to be exact) i feel really detached, as though a thousand years has passed since i was awake, of course thats not true...i hope.

and then there's that other thing that it seems all CO boys who are sec 4 and going through syf face. the big debate of church vs CO, well im going through that, im actually supposed to be in church....right now. but yeahhh....looks like CO wins for me. i hope i dont regret this decision, but like Mr Ng once said "go for CO, god will understand" and frankly, i dont doubt Mr Ng.

promise i'll say more next time

2009-03-29T22:28:00.002+08:00

wow what a week, monday to thursday went by like a storm, then after that friday kicked what would become a really really great weekend. yes this weekend was easily one of the most downright fun / high / delirious weekends of the year.

well so on friday i had my chinese mid years, which were...easier than expected really, maybe i just thought that it'd be impossibly hard, but i guess i was expecting too much. after that i had CO practice, which was pretty ok. then after that i headed off to tuition. where i left early to go to rehearsals for stations of the cross which was...quite fun, it was interesting to see everything in action. that night i slept at about...4, which was stupid of me

i found out just what a mistake it was the next morning, where i had trouble walking straight. so during sectionals in the morning i took a 1 hour nap. which seemed to go down pretty ok with my instructor since i was playing a accompaniment part. then after sectionals i went to lunch at waffletown with dylan and then we went back to school for combined practice. combined yesterday was...amazing. it was really good and we heard the best versions of both songs, now it could just be a coincidence, but perhaps our practice was so good because a CERTAIN SOMEONE wasn't there. but i guess it was just a coincidence.

then after that i went to church for the actual performance, i didn't play any part. i was only part of the 2 man props team (derek and me) who did nothing. (not our fault! everything just kinda got...done for us) but on saturday itself i was asked to read out the part of "crowd", so...thats what i did. The whole performance though was really really really good, i mean im really surprised that we pulled something like this off, i didn't think our class had the serious-ness to do it. but i guess i was wrong. after the performance there was reflections and confessions (it was youth lenten night) going to confession felt really good. like all the other times, i felt really nice and clean after that.

the whole night ended at about 11.30, where i started panicking about getting a bus home. my worries came true when i got to newton mrt, because the last number 5 had gone, thankfully though my brother was out, so he came to get me.

when i got home it was already 12+, i was really tired, but i was wide awake on the inside, so last night i played a bit, and talked to benedict who gave me some interesting insight on understanding and feeling music, frankly i had no idea that there was so much to consider when trying to understand a piece, but really was quite amazing. so at 3, i finally fell asleep

today, i got up at 11.30 and immeadiatly got changed to go to my cousin's house for lunch, she recently had a baby who is SUPER cute, i mean she's even cute when she's asleep! magical powers of babies i guess.

then after that my brother and i came home, and i just lazed the day away, it's been a really tiring (i got home past 12 on both friday and saturday) but really really really super fun weekend. and now...of course...school has to ruin everything. i have what i call pre-school stress syndrome, the condition where you're worrying about things that may not even exist, in my case, i'm worrying about homework that im not sure i have, and that tomorrow's gonna be a bad day and all that, but we dont know anything about the future until we live it dont we?

so lets hope the week ahead goes fine

2009-03-23T21:41:00.003+08:00

all i ever wanted in this world, was to be happy, who would've thought that'd be so hard?

well term 2 has started and....wow i guess a start cant get much worse than today, it was a crappy day all around, crap lessons, not doing work, blah blah, then there was a crappy CO practice after that. and after co practice, i always only get home at about 8. so...well lets just say its not exactly an ideal start.

everyday i stare at a mountain of work and projects that im supposed to complete by imppossible deadlines, i mean, gosh what do they want out of me? i'm human, im no robot and i'm far from perfect. so what exactly is it that people want me to do?

we're supposed to prioritise well, but how the hell do we do that when everything says that it should be first priority? and considering that im aiming for below 10 points for Os....well i mean i dont think thats gonna happen. i mean thats why i never understood the O level system. but to get 6 points, which would be ideal to get into any top JC, it means straight A1s. so...that means perfection. WHY ARE THEY ASKING PERFECTION OUT OF US? WE'RE ONLY HUMAN. and all this is made worse by the fact we're sec 4, so we're the leaders and whatever, making it doubly hard to study, with everything going on, how exactly do they expect us to do all this? when everyone demands nothing but perfection from us.

i know im just being a whiny little kid, but honestly i've had enough, i cant take it anymore, it seems after every endless day of school, there's always co practice, and as much as co means to me, there's only so much of lim eng choo's and zheng jie's nonsense i can take. and then after that we go home, and there's a mountain of work. on weekends i have more co and tuition and of course i still have church which means a whole lot to me. but really i dont know what to do anymore.

people may call me foolish for posting up all this, in fact i can imagine people telling me now " just get on with life you whiny asshole" or like wei wen telling me " you dumbass, why you go and post that? stupid you know?" ok wei wen's really not one to talk. but still what he says is so.....

anyway, life is such an asshole. i wish i could run away from it all, i wish there was an easy way out, i wish i could just leave it all, but i can't, i just can't.

i'll bet people, after reading this, will tell me to stop emoing and start doing something about my life, well as much as i'd like to do that, i just wish i could. i wish i could stop whining and start doing something about it, but i just dont know how, i know what im experiencing isn't half as bad as some other people, but i guess im just no where as perfect as they are.

it's funny how someone can have many caring friends around him, and yet feel so lonely.

2009-03-14T21:07:00.000+08:00

for all of you who thought my blog was dead....HAH it wasn't! i just didnt have a com for wayyy too long. so yes i finally have my own com, not a hand-me-down. my very own computer

very good very good
dont worry i'll post more
maybe

2009-02-15T19:52:00.003+08:00

post number 125 already. im quite shocked at how much i've neglected my blog so far

alright so february has been...by my current emotions, pretty darn rocky. firstly schools starting to get tough, so i'm going to have to do better to keep up. secondly syf is coming ever closer, things in co have changed, instructors leaving (honestly retarded) song change and blah blah, and well it's just been a pretty depressing month so far.

but nevermind, on to today.
i woke up really groggily and i dunno. subconciously i dont think i wanted to go to church and post-con today. truthfully i know why, but it's such a stupid reason. so nevermind i slept in and woke up to go to coro to meet wei wen. then we went to kap to surprise jeremy with a macdonalds party (seriously). yeah really. imagine a bunch of 16 year olds in really really small chairs and playing stupid games. then after that they came over to my house to hang out and play guitar hero. so yes for that moment i was thinking..yes i do have a truly blessed life. until they left. where i found out that they somehow got my speakers all funny and echo-y, a problem which i've now fixed. and of course the twins very kindly deleted all my internet history. i.e any useful site i visited last time GONE. sighh

school's been a real drag, everyday's starting to feel like a chore, but i know i must persevere, i know that compared to other people, i have a really easy life.

CO is..well...i dunno dont ask me. seriously it's not exactly something i'd like to talk about now

and inside, im really hurt, not like anyone would care would they? (ok fine i do have my friends who WOULD care buut....i wouldn't really tell you my problems unless you were the right person right?)

warning: if you are disturbed by 16 year old kids acting like 4 year olds...well dont scroll down

this is what happens when you gather a group of 16 year olds to have a VERY childish macdonalds party

i mean it was so retarded, i think we must've been delirious

birthday boy jeremy

the apparently very happy 20+ year old KID alex lee
let me stress
20+!!

andd the mess we left after that

so yes that was my first and probably last macdonalds party....goodness

to think i thought i got so far, and everything just crumbled in a second

2009-02-01T23:34:00.002+08:00

so...i haven't blogged for awhile, i dont think any of you know why, ask me and i'll tell you ^^

it's been a really......short week. with the chinese new year holiday and all that, but as usual school has been very....ugh. i dunno it's just been boring and all, but i know i have to keep up my concentration to do well.

so..the more interesting things about this week were

first: cny celebrations, haha basically everyone came to my new place and had lunch and played guitar hero and everything, very fun very good

second: on friday ashley came to my house! haha it was all very funny, because we played guitar hero the whole day, and blah blah and he sang hot for teacher which was hilarious, and of course we talked and blah blah, very fun. and in the evening, janice came over to get her music, she, of course, was her usual hilarious self and she got to snoop around my room so she should be happy. (was ashley charmed by her? that could be true ^^)

third: vernon's party yesterday was....well i know some people who were there will be reading this, but truthfully im really not much of a party person so i wont say anything

fourth: post con class this morning! yes once again i've walked back into the crazy world that is my church, it was a real blast! and seeing everyone again was really nice, and all the facils also! so i think post con is really something to look forward to every week.

so thats pretty much the more interesting stuff that happened to me, i'll bet there are more details, just that i can't remember or i can't be bothered to type ^^

and so tomorrow school starts again, i really really dont feel like going at all, the bright side is that there's a holiday on wednesday. so thats something to look forward to

till next time!

2009-01-23T20:22:00.007+08:00

well james has finally moved, im really quite happy with my new house, but as usual in my family, there cannot be a happy moment without some shouting and screaming.

so starting from yesterday, the school day was......well i didnt pay attention the whole day, i was far too distracted with the fact that i'd be moving that day so when the time came, i rushed home (pleasantly surprised that the bus ride home is only about 30mins) and got lost (of course) but found my way again and finally got to my new house. workers were still going in and out, moving stuff about, but of course the only thing i was interested in was my room. so i ran up and the sight that met my eyes was this

well yes so from there i got started with unpacking stuff.

but hey it couldn't be that easy right? so of course at night i got into a fight with my father cause he wanted me to clean up, and he kept on complaing about how untidy i was. ME? ME FREAKING UNTIDY? if there's one person who's not untidy in the damn house, it's me. i mean fine there were some empty boxes in my room, but hey give me a freaking break, i just moved like 12 boxes up to the attic because of all the stuff that me and my bro shared, but we didnt need anymore, lots of kiddy stuff. so i was tired as hell, but of course, i wasn't allowed to be tired! im the youngest so apparently i have to do all the damn work. what a bastard.

so after that, i lounged around in my new room, remarked on how empty it was , and fell asleep.

the next morning. TRAGEDY! our gate had mysteriously opened at night, now this was a source of great concern to my parents, our first guess was that burglars had come to steal all our stuff, but of course i found out later that it was just a malfunction with the gate electronics. so anyways i went to school today, it was boring i guess, im starting to hate chinese, not the subject but my class, it really sucks and i cant learn anything.

after that, my after-school activity that day was.......well lets just say it should've have been fun but it definitely wasn't at all.

well im trying to get used to this place, i think in these first few weeks, im going to be pretty worked up and stressed out.

more pics of my house

living room thats the main door in the background

Kitchen

Bro's room

Bro's walk-in wardrobe, i dont have one grr

instead i have this, a lot of cupboards, i dont even need that much space

Parent's study, which leads into

this, they're gargantuan room, yes their "room" is more like a suite

view from the top floor

top floor, which is the attic and guest room, this is the attic

our driveway

our garden......or at least the only bit of grass that can pass as a garden

and so from this crap hole

to this room, all to myself, i know it's kinda messy now, but i just need to settle in, and it's DAMN empty it feels weird, i also got some poster's to paste up. but i can't find any blue tack...
and finally, this is my ceiling...i dunno why i took this but i quite like my lights.

2009-01-20T16:56:00.003+08:00

ok so today was a wonderful day, firstly, i could skip half of school and secondly, our performance wasn't all that bad. and lots of other things in between

ok so i went to school today, and got through physics, chinese and half of A math,all very boring as usual, but i think im sort of on track for my Os....or at least i could be doing a lot worse (wei wen im looking at you)

then after that i left class and got right into an organisational nightmare, it's been a while since we've had an orchestra this big, especially with the new seating arrangement, and it doesn't help that we're led by a total idiot who is blah blah blah (all bad things) but anyway we went on and played, it was............well above average for us, now mind you our average is pretty low i feel. but im still pretty proud that we could go up and put up a pretty decent performance.

so after that, i deceided that i was too lazy to change, and besides i quite like wearing formal(-ish) clothes, i feel really nice and smart in it. and actually there's something else i realised about wearing things like that, but i dont think i should say it here.

so on the mrt to city hall,i saw gilda get on the train, and she was....really blur? i tapped her on the shoulder then she turned around and continued sms-ing, then she stopped and just kinda stoned, until i said "umm have you realised it's me?" then she suddenly looked up and saw me and went all happy and gilda-ish. you know "OMGG JAMES TAN blah blah blah"yeah. something like that. i realised one thing after talking to her

guidelines for all people new to gilda

1) when sms-ing her, give her at least like.......10-15 mins to reply you. she's not daoing you, she's just being gilda.

2) when talking to her on msn, dont get irritated if she abruptly goes offline for no reason, she's not being rude, she's just being gilda

3) be ready for a lot of screaming and high voiced swooning over barker boys

4) whenever she says "im not going to talk to you anymore!" dont worry, give her 30 secs to start talking to you again.

yes i promise im totally right (if she sees this i'll bet she'll dispute it)

ok so besides that, in other news, i will very probably be moving very soon. very soon as in this coming thursday. omg? yeah im really excited about it.

well thats it, im so tired today, and the days seem to pass so fast, it's already5.10, gosh time really flies nowadays.

2009-01-18T22:59:00.002+08:00

gosh i only just realised how messed up i was after camp. i dont believe it, but i guess that shows how messed up i am?

so camp, well it was.... super fun! hhahaah it was a really small short camp, but all in all really fun, and im really looking forward to post-con now. it's just a pity more people didnt come for camp though.

basically, at 4pm on saturday, we all met up at the balck table and did ice-breaker games (again) then went for mass, then dinner, then the first post-con session then movies at night. and yes of course in between all that there was a LOT of laughter, happiness and (surprisingly) making new friends. i'd love to give a really detailed post about the whole thing, buut i dont think i can be bothered.

so i got home this morning at about 9+, then went to transport (guitar hero) instruments to my bro's friends place, then went to get lunch. then after that i went out with my bro to play lan with his friends. after that i got home, and realised "jeez i really am quite tired" cause i slept at about 5.30 last night. i remember the last thing i was thinking before i dozed off was "wow it smells nice, i wonder what's cooking" then when i woke up at 7 i thought "mm smells good, is it done?" hmmm what does that say about me?

then after that my relatives came over for dinner, which was uneventful, just talk and talk. then after that i attempted to get down to work, and failed. so yes i shall attempt "a wei wen" tomorrow, i.e i shall go to school without doing any work. gasp! yes yes i know very bad but i really can't concentrate now no idea why but i think it has to do with the fact that i really really miss camp.

strange isn't it? this camp had some really weird after effect. cause im having freaking withdrawal symptoms! i dont believe it but i really really miss this camp for some stupid strange reason. i guess it just makes post-con something to look forward to even more.

yawwn im tired, but at the same time i dont feel like sleeping, there's this strange feeling in my heart like im supposed to do something today, just that i have no idea what it is. how troublesome, i hope i forget about it by tomorrow.

on a side note, cny concertt on tuesday, hurray or uh oh...hmmm i cant be sure yet

2009-01-16T21:16:00.002+08:00

for the first time this year, im incredibly bored. of course i COULD go and study, but as usual i dont really feel like it.

So....chinese new year concert is next week already, ohh dear i think we're gonna screw up again, i swear all these rush jobs are nonsense, especially with a orchestra of our standard, it's not good to force them i feel. but nevertheless, we're going to go on stage and.......do not very well i think, unless we pull of a miracle, but come on, what are the chances of that really? and thinking forward, syf is in 4 months, looks like acs barker CO is going to need another miracle to succeed.

on another note, work so far has been pretty ok, im getting everything which is a big relief. but i know i still have to buck up to do well in Os.

see? im so bored, i dont even have anything to blog about!

oh wait, actually there's church camp tomorrow, like an overnight thing, which im totally clueless about, cause i didnt get this mysterious letter. so yes i have no idea what to bring, and if we need sleeping bags, im screwed. hopefully it'll be fun, and hopefully, i gain something from it.

gosh i can't believe how bored i am, i can't even think about anything to type....... but i suppose thats it for today, see you after church camp

2009-01-14T20:46:00.002+08:00

i always tell myself "1 year james, just 1 year of hardship" and 14 days in, jeez i dont even know if i can make it past this month.work so far is.....quite ok, i think as long as i listen properly and study i should be quite ok, the big problem so far this year is, yes you've guessed it, CO.i have never had so many problems with co before it's amazing. this time, it's really no one's fault, not even my idiot chairman. but whatever it is, it's another rush job and it's really horrible.

14 days into the year, im tired out, tired out and tired out again. and i notice that i haven't even gone home at 2.30 yet, it's always at least like.......4 or 5+. that is......ridiculous. im really tired now actually, but as always, if we manage to stay happy, then hey, things can't be THAT bad right?

2009-01-09T22:11:00.003+08:00

sec 1 recruitment today, and we have 44 little kids this year. that's a little less than the last 2 years, hmmm i wonder why (im looking at you chairman)

well it was really really tiring, and i got really really annoyed by the end of the day, the amount of bullshit i had to hear and listen to and do was immeasurable. i swear it was total nonsense. all the lies......all the last minute bullshit, im sorry but i cannot stand that

on another note, duncan and roy came back to visit! for no obvious reason, so i caught with them and roy was being his.......retarded self, duncan is still has funny as ever but i think he's a bit more serious now....hmmm.

and i managed to get home earlier today, yay! about 4pm, i swear it could've been earlier if a certain chairman stopped screwing around and emoing and being a dumbshit. but anyway, getting home early allowed me to catch up with my game playing. yes it's like the first time i touched my wii in a week....must be the longest time i've gone cold turkey.

anyway all in all, i think it's the end of a stressful week, it was mostly..well bad but hey that means it can only get better right?

2009-01-08T21:09:00.003+08:00

i cannot stand stand undeserving people. i also cannot stand stupidity. i think it's pretty rare when i see both in one person. today i did, in my dear insprational chairman who i really really hate.

firstly: tomorrow is cca open house, and he decides to move only about half the instruments......im sorry but when you do that we look pathetic, dumbass.

secondly: he let everyone go off so early....leaving the bulk of the work to be done with a small group. you know i'd think a lot of physical work should equal getting more people to work? but apparently in his screwed up mind it doesn't work that way.

thirdly: he's a fucking drama queen, there's no other way of saying it.

fourthly: he's so damn bossy, and he doesn't do anything, im sorry but i think i can feel that way when i carried half the stands from the co room all the way to the concert hall and i think i probably broke my shoulders today

fifthly: being a chairman doesn't mean getting lots of work done, it means being a leader, and leaders.....yeah you guessed it, they LEAD, and he does a horrid job at it, when you want people to follow you, you gain they're respect, so far he's failed in this RATHER important aspect of his chairmanship, he's failed to gain the respect of the orchestra, and he just lost mine today.

well yes as you can see, im really irritated at that bastard, it's the first time i've stayed in school for about 12-13 hours consecutively, and it's not very funny when after a hard day's work, you still have a bloody hour's journey home. so lets see, why is it that i've stayed so late so many times? lets see, last 2 years.....the chairmen were...how do i say it.....oh yeah....BETTER.

he is in no way fit for this position, and the sad thing is, the teacher doesn't realise it, what a bitch. perhaps even sadder is the fact that im second to him. i can't stand it.

i honestly cannot stand it at all, and yet, there's nothing i can do is there?

2009-01-07T20:38:00.002+08:00

James Tan is officially a student of class 4B1. sighhh ohhh dear

and as usual, there's a ton of things worrying me. being worried and coming up second best. the story of my life

2009-01-06T19:58:00.005+08:00

today im delighted to report that i reached home at 7.15, yes a whopping 1 hour earlier than yesterday, oh joy.

so in the first 3 days of school, i've clocked up 39 hours already, yes yes that means a 13 hour day everyday, but thats how it's been so far, and i think thats the way it'll be for the week. also today, we had our "very important" performance, ok to be fair i think it really was fairly important, and it was a total............failure for CO, yes from a musical point of view, if you listened, it was horrid and honestly if we practiced more, it would have been ok. buuuut thats not our fault because we had practically no time to prepare, and considering that it was the first performance for some of my juniors, that made it worse. but on the bright side, from a common person's point of view, it sounded pretty ok

anyway i have to get to work, goodnight people

hey, where did you go?

2009-01-05T20:32:00.002+08:00

i do not believe what a bad year 2009 has been so far, today i broke my own record and got home at 8.15. that is without a doubt in my mind, ridiculous.

school is still ok i suppose, it could be a lot worse, i know it'll get worse. so thats still ok, however, it's the first time i've felt so irritated at co. for 3 simple reasons

1) The chairman is not up to the job in my eyes

2)the teacher in charge screwed up big time, as in wayyy big time

3) the orchestra's standard is about negative 1 million, they dont even have any passion!

i am tired out, irritated, annoyed, stressed, but through it all i guess im slightly happy because i know this year i'll need to work, hopefully all these things will help me concentrate on my work.

tomorrow 6.30 at CO room, totally retarded

2009-01-02T21:47:00.002+08:00

2009 so far: totally hating it.

so first day of school today, normally that'd be pretty fun cause we get to know our new classes, catch up with old friends, meet new teachers, have no homework, and basically have some fun.
however this year, i spent the day worrying what class im supposed to be in, where i might be going, whether im gonna make it to pure or not, and worrying about being so worried on the first day of school. see? worry worry worry thats all i did today, ok fine besides get irritated at CO and totally shutting out the world when we were practicing canon in the end.

yes if you haven't noticed, it's the first day of school, second day of the year, and James Tan is stressed out already. you know, i actually thought i'd make it further before getting so stressed out.

so anyway, im really tired now, i got home at 8....see? 15 year old kids are NOT supposed to get home at 8 on the first day of school.

well thats it for today. i think there are some things i need to do, something...somewhere......

2008-12-31T19:41:00.003+08:00

well well so it's finally the end of 2008, and well....what a year, i can't say it's been a good year, saying it's a bad year would be nonsense too so im just going to say that 2008 was one of the most extraordinary years i've lived. simply because

1) i've learnt a lot more about myself and i realised just how little i know myself

2) i've learnt so much in this world, and the people who inhabit it

3) my friends, who've made this year a total rollercoaster ride

4) i experienced sadness....ok fine thats not a good thing but hey, it's necessary to be sad once in a while

5) i realised, that through it all, there's a God up there, who looks down on us and takes care of us

well yes it's been such a wonderful, crazy, wild year. thanks to some people, namely

God
my class 3B2
my church
and of course, my friends

well firstly, my class helped me see life from a different point of view, it was a really really wild class, and we were ALWAYS getting into trouble, sure it may have not been the most harmonious class, but thats what makes us 3B2. seeing everyone everyday, having fun together, slacking off, pissing teachers off, pissing each other off, it truly was something that i think can't be replicated again.

then there's my church, wellll this year was confirmation year, i think everyone got that little bit closer because of it. sure my feelings for the church may not always be......favourable (people involved would know why) and yes church was once a place where whenever i was there, i got really emo. but i think i've gotten over that. and nevertheless,i think st Ignatius will always be the one and only church i can go to. simply because......well i dont know, it's something about it i can't describe. but i guess i just really love my church and all the nice people and everything about it.

and then my friends who have, for the whole year, been there with me throughout everything, sure it's been a really big rollercoaster with some of them, but hey, thats what being friends is all about.

and of course, there's God, who has been keeping watch over me, guiding me, and pretty much being totally awesome. I dont think i ever got serious about my religion, but i imagine that if there was a year that i really truly believed in god, it was this year. looking back, i dont know why i didn't do it earlier, because if there's someone who we can totally trust, it's him.

so well the end is here, a new beginning tomorrow my friends. to anyone taking Os with me next year, good luck, work hard, and always do your best. to everyone who's not...well you're lucky.

so thats it then, last post of the year.

2009
please dont let us down

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them,
for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6

2008-12-29T15:51:00.002+08:00

jeez i've had sleepless nights before but none probably as bad as last night, i got into bed at 1 and slept at 4. yes i spent about 3 hours tossing and turning and being scared.

well the big bad monster i was scared of passed today, yup i did the chem supplemetary test today..soo.......well i cant say im very confident, that'd be lying, but i suppose i can take some confidence in what alex lee said to me after the test "dont worry i think they'll be quite lenient and as long as you dont do too badly it should be ok"...gee i hope he's right

physics is tomorrow, lets hope i can sleep tonight.

ok so on a happier note, i'll be getting 5, thats right, FIVE new games tonight. now now ok before all of you (all 1 or 2 of you reading this?) start scolding me about how next year is important and all that, i'll say it now, buying these games are a "strategic investment" because im only paying $100 for these games, and they're all top grade games. the catch is that they're all gamecube games, and that they're all secondhand. which i dont really mind. so lets hope these dont screw up my studies (i'll make sure they wont)

and to a certain someone, please excuse my total lack of urgency for studies, if you're reading this, i think you know who you are ^^

until next time people

2008-12-28T00:32:00.002+08:00

wow ok so christmas has come and gone just like that, isn't it amazing how we prepare so long for like a few days of celebration? and then after that we all have to get back to our boring lives. well schools in about a weeks time, i am.................half looking forward to it i guess

so anyways the week has past really quick, i spent the whole week waking up at about 2pm and going "ah shit too late too late" because i wanted to wake up earlier but oh well. so anyways monday and tuesday were very boring and unventful. on wednesday (christmas eve) i went out with wei wen, isiah and jeremy, we met at about 12 and went to watch yes man which is......ookkaayyy not bad i guess. then after that we went to play lan for a little while where jeremy and i tried our best to resist killing wei wen, but after all, who can resist that?

then after that i went home for a very normal dinner then i rushed my parents out of the house for 8pm mass. which was....really really empty actually, i was quite surprised but i supposee everyone (including me) wanted to go for midnight mass. well there's always next year i guess

so after that i went home and pretty much just bummed around until 12 where i started wishing people merry christmas and blah blah, then after that i think someone couldn't sleep and called me to talk. so i ended up sleeping at about 4

next morning (ok fine afternoon at 2pm) i woke up and realised that i was alone at home. then i remembered everyone was at uncle malcolm's for christmas lunch, so i headed down there (they live like just down the street) for lunch which was really nice and just sat aroud and listened to people talk, kinda boring really but thats a bit mean.

then after more bumming around at home, there was christmas dinner at my aunt's house, so after all the laughing and eating and being made fun of (yes im ALWAYS made fun of but thats ok i guess) there was present time! yayy

i got a bag, a shirt and a book, all very normal and nice. very good very good.

after that i went home and quickly sneaked off (by that i mean i waited for my dad to go to the toilet) to desiree's house to go entertain her, she was just sitting outside doing music theory (shocking) so i went there i talked to her until about 1+ when i was called back by my mum.

so yes the rest of the week was boring

but i believe i finally understand what people say when they talk about christmas magic, it really is quite magical isn't it? well sort of anyway, i think everyone just grows out of it, kinda sad really.

oh and on a really really depressing note, i have to take science supplementary tests on monday and tuesday. presumably to decide whether i go to pure or not. so...wish me luck! i'd really appreciate that.

so thats it for the week i guess, life's about to restart, gotta get ready

2008-12-21T22:04:00.006+08:00

woo what a day. ok cancel that woo it doesn't deserve it

ok so today started in the dark hours of 6.15 for me. all to go for church. so i got up, got changed and before i could fall asleep again i got out of the house. it felt so weird being out so early on my own and it was really really cold.... so i had a long boring 1 and a half hour ride ahead of me and........i totally didnt entertain myself.

so after the totally boring train ride. i went to farrer market for breakfast. and i must say that it's the first time in a long time that i spent so little on food. 2.20 to be exact. so i sat there trying to prepare myself for mass, which was hard because my mind kept on wandering of to think of other things. so before long it was time to go to mass and well it was.......in a way quite emotional for me. when i stepped into the hall i felt as though i was being cleansed. it was really really great. so i went through mass as per normal..except alone which was kinda lonely but it's alright i guess. maybe i should get used to it.

then after mass, i went and gave christine her birthday present! so yes yes happy birthday to her! very good very good finally same age as me ^^ (if you're reading this christine, OLD WOMAN!) then after that i went home, taking 48 all the way back and taking a long walk home, which felt quite nice especially after mass.

then i got home, woke my parents and then we went off for lunch, then after that they deceided it'd be funny for me to bore my brains out in an on-site meeting at my new house. which was sort of half interesting i guess. i got to see my nearly finished room which was slightly exciting i guess

this is the view when you first walk in, it is.......nice and big and if you're wondering why it's so damn blue it's cause theres a blue film covering the windows, so blue light comes in

the bay windows, totally cool! now i can do..........random things there i dunno yet

andd of course the toilet! my OWN toilet! amazing!

after that, my parents deceided to drag me to megatex...or megatechs whatever. basically it was like sitex just not as nice. so i quickly got bored.

and of course as always my parents had to fight.......about every single thing...how wonderful

but on a happier note, i feel really really good right now. not cause singapore loss....although that was pretty hilarious..in a way haha

and on a side note, if you've been reading, you might remember my dad's fancy whisky box that i lugged back from bali and here it is

super fancy can? and heavy...and yes thats my room and my com table, notice the crampness and all the crap on my bed

and here it is opened, how cool is that man signed by random englishmen and comes with a handbook about them and all that.

so thats my day in a post. sort of anyways

schools startinggg soon, oh dearr oh dear

2008-12-17T01:11:00.003+08:00

"so pure science it is then sir"

With that 1 e mail, i have changed my life, for better or for worse.

God please help me

2008-12-14T19:48:00.003+08:00

Today was definitely one of the most interesting days in my holidays so far.

but firstly, the week was really boring, did nothing.....went out with gilda and desiree (they're crazy) and had tuition.

see? boring

but today was slighty more interesting for me.
i woke up at 6.20, aiming to go to church, but of course i fell asleep again and when i woke up at about 9, i was really really pissed with myself for not going to church again, then i fell asleep again. when i woke up again at 12, it was pouring outside, and it was really dark, which was really strange for 12pm. but it's my favourite kind of weather anyway and so i woke my brother up, turned on the light, and went to wash up.

okok i know it doesn't sound interesting at all but bear with me.

anyways after that i went online and saw an interesting e mail from mr alex lee. the subject was my name and my class. weird right? so anyway the e mail pretty much said that i could go to pure science if i wanted to....my first thought was omg?

so here i am with a dilemma, i can either

1)stay in combined, and be in a...less than desirable class but have a relatively easier life

2) go to pure, have a relatively nicer class..but...it's pure science

i'm supposed to reply by tuesday, sooo...i dont have much time to think, and frankly im terrified that i make the wrong choice.

so anywayyy other than that, i went for a concert today held by the foo chow association chinese orchestra.

it was, in my opinion, a totally mediocre performance that never got past the "mediocre" stage for me. so all in all, not very good

but maybe i wasn't concentrating because of that question.

oh and on a side note, i think im sick

james is soooo troubled right now

2008-12-09T21:35:00.004+08:00

bali is a really really beautiful place. that's what i found out over the weekend. so this is pretty much how it went

Day 1. arrived at bali at about 4+. checked into the hotel and lazed around in the (very nice) room for the rest of the day. until night where me, my bro(my roommate) and my sis(the younger sister...the one that's not married yet) and her bf(our neighbours) deceided to order room service. since my parents were out for dinner. this thrilled my brother and i very much, being the first time we've had room service and all. so anyways we ate and lazed around more and then fell asleep.

Day 2. woke up at 9 and went down for breakfast where we (me and my bro) met auntie heddy and the whole alphonso family. they were oringinally my mum's god-sisters and god-brother but now they're really close to us and.....its very complicated but they're pretty much like family now. so we had breakfast with them and it was there where i heard something that i will hear a lot in bali that was "wow you look so much like your brother now". so anyways after that we went to the games room with my dad and uncle eddy(another family friend). where we all got owned by him in pool. then after that we went for lunch with them. then we rejoined my sis and her bf to go and swim. so after a whole day in the pool we finally got out and went back up to order more room service. then later at night i went to my parent's suite where my father was having a small party with his friends where they were drinking whisky that came in a really really fancy box. so after a few drinks they all got a bit tipsy and when they found out that i was in charge of music on the wedding day, i started getting very weird requests and i was given a mission by them, which was. "throw out all the music my sister has chosen and just play "another one bites the dust" and "smoke on the water"" riiiight, of course i wasn't going to do that, but it was amusing watching 4 grown men acting like little kids.

Day 3. woke up at 8 and headed down for breakfast. where my brother and i ate really quickly and we rushed back upstairs to get ready for the wedding. yes so we got out our nice shirts and ties and suits and all. and i got my brother to do my hair for me cause i dont trust my own hands (yes i put wax on.....i know it's very un-james like to do that) so after that we met up with my sis where we headed to the (totally cool) chapel. and so my brother and i started our job, which was....basically just ushering. so yes there was the ceremony and the wedding mass which was really nice and all. then after that there was lunch. then we headed back to the room for about half an hour before going back down for the tea ceremony. it was.....a bit weird serving tea to my sis. but it was kinda funny because i didnt know what to say to them when i served. so i asked justin (the groom) what he wanted, he said "either grandmaster or arsenal sucks". it should be pretty obvious which i chose right? then after that we relaxed for a few hours before going down for the dinner. that was where i....totally failed my mission given by my dad and his friends. i played my sisters playlist of music from the ipod and they were "disappointed" at me. so that was quite funny. dinner was really nice and there were speeches and everything and it felt like a normal dinner.....in a suit. after that i went back up and fell asleep.

day4. woke up and went down to breakfast and found out that my brother and i were the only one's who though inversely to everyone else. everyone had packed and changed before going to breakfast. but anyway we ate then went back up to pack and change. and then we departed for the airport. then it was just a plane ride home.....yup back to boring old singapore.

i miss bali...it truly is a really nice place to be.

on a side note, when i got home i looked at the table and saw a big plastic bag. inside the plastic bag was something that made me feel really gross it was.....14 packs of cadbury chocolate....yup you read right, 14 packs. cause it's so much cheaper in australia so she always buys some for us..but never this much. this is what it looks like in the fridge.

i swear i feel unhealthy just looking at it.

on another side note, you might be wondering why there's no pictures of bali, the reason is.....well there is, just that there's something wrong with my computer so i can't transfer things properly, its quite irritating, but i'll post some once i manage to get it.

2008-12-04T16:39:00.002+08:00

alllllright so it's finally the day before i leave for bali,which is the highlight of my holidays this year. mostly because it's my sister's wedding, but also part because it'll be the first time in 8 years where my family goes somewhere....together.

can you imagine that? we haven't been away together in 8 years, and the last time we all went somewhere together, was singapore...when we were moving back -_-"

i am kinda excited although i know once i get there, i'll be really really bored. so im quite ready, got all my proper clothing (meaning my suit and shirts and ties) and all

anyway yesterday i woke up at 9...that alone for me is a huge achievement, i woke up and went to town for an appointment with the dermatologist. being in town so early in the morning brought back so many memories, i felt like a primary school kid again, just....a lot bigger. for some reason it felt really refreshing waking up so early...so i might start doing it more often? perhaps.

after that i went to CO, which i wont talk about, dont worry im not angry or anything. it was a waste of time thats all.

and after that ashley came over to my house, to get trashed in every single game we played. ok fine so he didnt actually own any game we played..but still feels good? nahh maybe not, but it was really fun and he ended up staying until 9.30 because he was so determined to beat me at something (which he didnt in the end anyway)

so james' holidays are going well i suppose, like proper holidays so to speak.....

see you next monday (im not promising any photo's)

welcome home

2008-11-28T13:56:00.002+08:00

ookkaay so i haven't blogged in a long while, im too lazy to, but who cares anyway?

lifes been...really boring. and i know that in the past week or so many many things have happened, just that as usual i can't remember anything.

but anyways i've really done nothing other than laze around at home playing games (guitar hero, pro evo 09 and NFSU) or go to co. speaking of co, im happy to report that i feel that everything is coming together, albeit really really slowly, it's still coming...so...thats good. hopefully syf will be alright next year

on saturday i went to ACJC CO's concert, named spirito (retarded name) and it was....well from a technical point of view, it wasn't exactly great, but if you didn't know much, i think you'd think it sounds alright. and anyway i had lots of fun with my seniors so it was worth it.

and on...wednesday i went to play badminton with lukas mike alex and irvin. which was really really funny but i shan't elaborate

and so james is....well pretty contented now actually, he's bored, but he's feeling alright

oh and bali is in a week's time, how exciting. i seriously can't wait

i know it's a short post, but i can't really remember much now anyway, i head's always too muddled up

seriously, my head is really really muddled up all the time, always thinking too much about unimportant things and worrying about big things and all that. explains my forgetfulness i suppose.

i promise

2008-11-20T00:01:00.002+08:00

that van passes me again and again,it's horn blaring in my face. but i can't hear it, i hear nothing but the music in my earphones, i only see that van, mere centimetres from my face
and that scene goes again
and again
and again
i was so close to danger, so close to being hit, so very close. and everytime i get that nightmare again, i'm forced to relive that moment. everytime i wake up im drenched in sweat and my heart is overworking itself for nothing.

recurring nightmares, every night since that day
scary right?

trust me it's even scarier i when you're actually having them.

2008-11-18T17:39:00.002+08:00

God saved my life
And for once, i think im truly thankful for his love
and i think i finally realise just how great he is

So yes short post today, its been an unevenful week so far, yesteray i went out with amos jevon and vernon to watch madagascar 2. which is....damn funny hahaha seriously qutie funny (go watch!) then after that came home and played com.

boring right? well anwyay i know my class postings and firstly i must say peter tan is an absolute dumbass. he goes around changing everything when everything is just fine, i mean changing the lower sec class names to bible names? truthfully i dont have a problem with the actual names, but COME ON DONT FEAKING COPY ACS I YOU DUMBSHIT. yes and when you put together the names he chose they spell ACSGENTLMN....ok im sorry firstly thats not even a word and secondly MAKING THE CLASSES SPELL ACS GENTLMN IS NOT GOING TO MAKE THE STUDENTS OF BARKER ROAD MORE GENTLMANLY...im sorry sir but as nice as that would be... IT WONT FREAKING WORK.

alllright thats for the lower sec. for me...well im in 4B1 which is...alright i dont have a problem with my class but i have SUCH a bad feeling about next year...like big uh oh so...wish me luck?

and peter tan.....what...the hell...is freaking 4A5...i mean if it was another A band class (i.e pure science) then i'd understand BUT IT'S NOT so you're telling me that you change the lower sec classes so that lower band boys dont feel discriminated but you create a A5 which is a combined science class so that all us B band guys...feel..ok? NO WE FEEL DISCRIMINATED DUMBASS

seriously i have no idea what peter tan is trying to do to the school, all i know is, that he's ruining it.

Thank you god, for everything

2008-11-15T18:40:00.007+08:00

alright so now as promised i have the pics from alex's party

some credits...well...i think it should all go to jia an, it was his camera after all

so here we go

ohhh pretty BBQ fire

set up....sherwyn you look stupid -_-"

and so it begins

the audience watches on

that must be keefe's "serious guitar hero playing" face because everytime he holds the guitar he looks like that

ah now finally the audience goes wild (it's very rare that you see me this nuts)

keefe was sad cause the guitar was taken away from him aww

oooo the legendary singer steps up :D

and....he immediatly misses a note? that must be my "disappointed at myself" face

legendary guitar hero player ( i think he's the only who's played guitar hero before the party)

ahh look at the legendary band

and this must be...err after the song i guess? like i said you hardly ever see me this crazy

i swear i must've been on drugs or SOMETHING
from the left :me (high on whatever
Jia an (useless at guitar but fantastic photographer)
Keefe (on top) (freaking nuts i think it's his fault i became like that)
Tim wong (always silent in class but he's hiding his wild side which you dont even see in the photos! and he likes singing O.O)
Nic wong (always so damn enthu at everything he does)
Yew ming (hmmmmm)

oh no packing up time....sadded..for them anyway i own the game XD

and after that i cabbed home with simeon, but evidently the part went on

ooo pretty retro disco ball i guess now we know what alex lee does at night when no one's watching (ppssstt practice his disco dancing skills)

now as we were playing upstairs, there was this group of people downstairs playing poker who were *ahem* totally not playing with real money

alex's super cool....thingamajig

Gan chai doesn't really stand a chance does he?

After seeing this pic, i was suddenly glad that i left earlier

So those are the more notable pics i guess

well...3B2 i'll never forget the times with you guys, no doubt, you guys are the most crazy, wild, troublemaking class i've been in. all the times when we stood together as a class, hey it was nice while it lasted wasn't it?

3B2
more than a class
it was an experience

2008-11-15T16:34:00.003+08:00

well well what a week it's been, it seemed to pass by in a flash but when i think about every individual day, i guess it's been pretty long.

almost everyday some eventful thing happened so lets see

monday: so after the cath class party (on sunday) i actually went to serene centre to buy guitar hero world tour. but (to my total immense disappointment) they were all reserved. so i was quite......very very very disappointed. but the next day (monday) i went out with my sis to parkway parade to eat and so she could run some errands then i went to comics connection and there on the floor (i swear i could've imagined some holy light shining on it) was guitar hero world tour.....so i bought it

hehehehehehe nice right?
yes i actually managed to find space for it in my already cramped room ( the bed in the foreground is my bro's notice al the clothes lying around there and the one in the background is mine notice the.....errr...total neatness)

Tuesday: alright so on tuesday my internet router decided to be troublesome and not work.....yes so i wasn't online for like 2-3 days cause of the damn thing. unfortunately i didn't have time on tuesday to go fix it cause...well i had co in the afternoon then i went home for about half an hour and embarked on my epic 2 hour journey to alex lee's house for the class party. yes 2 freaking hours to his house first tanah merah to jurong east then to chua chu kang then the LRT to pending station...damn long. and surprise surprise i got there at 6pm on the dot and even more surprise surprise i was the first there.....so i talked to alex for awhile blah blah talking nonsense. then more and more people starting arriving. so we started eating and stuff and it was kinda quiet and stuff.....then we all seemed to start talking again and laughing and having a good time. then i went up to alex's super secret entertainment/chill out room thing. which is HIDDEN behind a set of mirrors...which was soo cool! once i figured out how to get in

alex:"just walk through the mirrors like in harry potter"
me:" what? sir thats imppossible" *bangs head on mirror*
kai feng:" no james you dumbass" *opens the door*

oooohhhhh....HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? so i set up guitar hero (yes the guitar fits into my bag once i detach the neck) unfortunately i couldn't bring the drumset cause that would be.....well hard so i didnt. so everyone started gathering there and we started rocking out to....well various songs, i'll let the pictures do the talking...in the next post (jia an is currently transferring everything to my com now)

Wednesday: well truthfully i dont remember much from that day, just that i had co.......and that was pretty much it...went home and played wayyy too much guitar hero

Thursday: once again i really dont remember anything from that day....ok i know my memory is pretty useless but i swear it's gotten worse this year and it really is a slight worry.

Friday: alright so finally in the morning my sis and i went to get the router fixed, there was a problem with the power supply (i.e the plug was screwed up) apparently it's a pretty common problem. so 15 mins and $35 later we were out of the building and ready to go home and get back on the internet. so i spent the day checking out news i missed and doing stuff on the com i totally neglected for about 2 days

and so finally we reach today where i woke up....sick ok so actually i've been sick the past few days, it's just been getting worse and worse. so yea i woke up and (literally) couged myself a headache...like i coughed so much until my head started pounding so yes i went to co in that state and practiced...practice...then went home and lazed the whole day away and finally here we are.

so thats my week in a post (again) im happy i guess, i have everything i need, goodness im tired and well................i dont know i think im so bored that im sad...like the boredom is making me sad
LOL well lets hope it doesn't get too bad shall we?

are you sure you aren't forgetting something?

2008-11-09T21:09:00.003+08:00

wow ok so a week has gone by in a relative flash and as usual it's been a rollercoaster ride of fun, laughter, fun, happiness, fun, ecstacy and more fun. yes this week hasn't really been very sad or anything. surprising for someone like me right? haha but i figure that there probably was, just that i can't remember right now.

alright so on tuesday i had er hu practice in the afternoon, and that was...pretty much it really.i dunno i really can't remember.

then on wednesday there was physics class in the morning which i realised i was going for the wrong one (STUPID!) then in the afternoon there was co practice where we played "蝉歌" for the first time. seeing everything put together, i can see why benedict said the conductor has the hardest job. it is, in actual fact, quite a tricky piece. The seniors also came down on wednesday to watch. namely lukas, jake, brian, harold, irvin and mike. so they all went to their respective sections to talk to the juniors and stuff. EXCEPT for mike who sat next to me ( i'm playing zhong hu now just like him when he was in barker) and talked shit and he didn't help / socialise with my juniors at all. USELESS mike! and i was also told that some of the members dont look normal....... ookkkaayyy

then on thursday i went to school again but for the right class this time. then after that i went out with my sis and her fiance, i only meant to stay for lunch but i ended up staying the whole day with them out in orchard. so in the end i gained another game :D

on friday i went to school AGAIN this time for A math class which sucked. Then i went to JS to visit mr selvam but he seemed pretty busy...so i just walked around the school and remembered the old times. its so sad that they're moving but i guess they had to do it sooner or later. so goodbye pretty old cairnhill campus, i'll remember you since 2000 when i came back from hong kong and went to you for 6 years and saved up too many memories for me to remember (doesn't make sense does it?)

then yesterday i went to school in the morning for sectionals then after that.....i came home..boring? yeah but at night i went out again for dinner with nick ting and kai feng. then we went to ting's house to watch arsenal own man u..... YES ARSENAL WON IN YOUR FREAKING FACES YOU STUPID MAN U FANS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

then today i woke up....had lunch ( yes i woke up THAT late) then i went to the cat class party. which was technically our last lesson. so am i sad? in a sense yes, i wont be seeing everyone regularly anymore, so yes that is quite sad, but at the same time...hey we all still go to the same church and there's youth council and everything, so it's not the end yet. :D oh and yes the party was fun i guess, haha fine fine so my bad feeling was wrong.

well yes thats my week in a post.i know there's so much more i went through but hey, i have a crap memory lol. so is James happy? very much so

2008-11-03T15:56:00.002+08:00

what a boring sleepy start to the week. woke up at 11, and did pretty much nothing until tuition, which was at 2.30 until now and im so tired. i think im sick bleahh

so whats been happening with my over-dramatic life? well....over the weekend....nothing much actually. i got the new syf set piece "song of cicada" or "蝉歌" which im playing zhong hu for. it seems really simple but i can already tell thats it's deceivingly simple, and that i think there's going to be trouble putting all the parts together. also, if the song is so easy, it means that all the other top schools are also going to play damn well, i.e we have to be pretty special.

but on the other hand, i think we can have quite a lot of fun with this piece

so that was saturday, on sunday there was church, and cat class which was alright i guess, next week is already the class party and the last class. hmm quick wasn't it?seems like just yesterday that we were fooling around in P6, and then fooling around in sec 1, then fooled around a bit less but still fooled around in sec 2, and then we all went through confirmation together this year in sec 3. so what can i say about all of you guys? well we went through quite a lot together and class had become something i look forward to every week. yes even with all the rumours, controversy, scandals and gossip flying around. i guess in a strange way it was fun. so.....see you guys in post com and youth council! :D

although at the same time, class still brings forth a sense of......loss, and regret, and sadness, its strange isn't it? that i can find something to be sad about in something so happy and fun but i guess its the way i am

so there's school tomorrow, followed by extra er hu practice with moses and some sec 2s, on wednesday there's school again followed by CO combined prac which the seniors will be coming too (looking forward to seeing you guys!) on thursday there's more school (sian). '

dont worry about me, i'll be alright, i promise

2008-10-31T16:42:00.004+08:00

i'm sorry? for what? i dont know but i feel i owe a big huge apology to lots of people so...well to everyone who thinks they deserve one from me. im really sorry.

what a strange week it's been. definitely not a typical week for me, starting with the sleepover at jevon's then the mid-week emoness and now at the weekend i feel....nervous? weird no?

so am i still emo? no im not definitely not. i mean...emo is so....eeeee and like i dunno, someone once told me that me being emo is very unbecoming. so yes im not emo anymore. also cause i realised the other day that im starting to sound like a certain someone i know. (go on and guess)

next week is going to be soo packed. so disgusting, im going to hate it all, and like...totally not concentrate in class lol ( yes i have classes everyday next week)

we're getting the syf set piece tomorrow, yup finally we're gonna start preperations for syf. goodness we're late, this is almost exactly like 2007 syf, just that this time, we're a little bit more screwed.

is that why im nervous? actually there's another insanely stupid reason. yes like seriously super amazingly stupid and im not going to say what it is, although someone may know.

so whats up with me being emo? well i guess now im a bit older, i'm a bit more....aware of my emotions, not as blur and quiet as when i was young ( i used to be super quiet). and so that why this year especially, i've been really emo. although i think at the same time i've learnt to get over things (sort of) ( ok maybe not). and well...i've seemed to see so much more of the world this year as compared to all other previous 14 years of my life.

like seriously, the amount of things i've seen, heard, discovered this year is pretty amazing. (ok maybe not to some people) but i find it all quite fascinating. i've seen the world from so many different angles this year, felt the world from the prespective of so many different types of people. and something tells me its probably the most dramatic year i've been in (horrible)

well thats it for today, nothing much else to blog right?

once again, im sorry, to everyone i've hurt, irritated, annoyed or made angry, im sorry

2008-10-30T01:48:00.003+08:00

My my what a week's it's been, so far anyway

so on monday i went over to jevon's to stayover, one of the tamest stayover's i've been to, and they managed to get me to skip the Amath lessons the next morning. on tuesday we all woke up and i left for school at about 1 for some cca vid making rubbish...sigh waste my time. then i went back and i stayed for 1 more night

i swear that night i had the weirdest dream. i was walking out of the mrt station with my friend ( i shan't say who) then at the place where you tap your card. i broke into a run and skidded on the machine with my apparently friction-less shoes. then alarms started ringing and i continued my sprint all the way till the exit, dodging traps and spikes and dangerous...errr things. i finally slid under the closing main door when...i woke up..weird right? i have no idea what that dream symbolises but it's one of those dreams i'll remember. (with the only other one being the one when my dad threw me out the window and i rolled down a hill)

then i came back this morning for about 1 hour before setting out again to school for CO prac. the first combined prac in a long time. at first everyone was kinda rusty. but in the end i guess it turned out pretty alright...by our standards anyway. and yes i realise im still very sour grapes about being vice chair...sucks right? but i'll have to get over it

so when i got home. i logged into msn..and well....my spirit died. i had offline messages from someone (shan't say who again) and i know he/she meant no wrong, he/she was just representing the group. and what they decided was.....well....really hurtful. whatever it is. to that group of people, whether you hate me or not, i'll never hate you people. all i'll say is that i really dont feel like going to church anymore. i still will obviously, church isn't about hanging around with your friends, it's about worshipping god. but still.....what they did......how sad.

and there's nothing i can do but to get over it right? if only that were easy

am i sad right now?

yes without a doubt i am totally utterly crushed under my emo-ness

am i scared of something right now?

yes i am terrified of facing something

am i happy about anything at all?

im sure i am, i just can't think of anything right now

but in times like these, when i can't find anything happy, when im totally sad and i find it hard to see the love in this world. i always remember "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."John 3:16

in this world, there is always some love. his name is god, if we believe in him, everything will be alright. God sacrificed his only son for us, THAT is true love.

so do i feel better after typing all that?

well......i'd love to say yes

oh one more question

why the hell am i up so late ( although its not that late by my standards)\

well...obviously cause i can't sleep

why can't i sleep?

cause my heart......it hurts so bad....

Day 17 Mission "promise"

2008-10-26T22:39:00.005+08:00

i'm not going to say today was a bad day, that would be ridiculous but ah well...there was that feeling again....

i dont feel like blogging about it. i fear the feelings. you know, that feeling that going to church always gives me? ok fine you probably dont know, but while going to church is a good thing and i enjoy it, at the same time there's a strange, stupid feeling that i can't explain. All i know is that i have a very selfish problem, and that i'll solve it

i've convinced myself that all these things, like becoming vice chair again, and those horrid remarks from the teachers and that feeling when i go to church, are all tests from god. tests on how i handle myself i suppose, truthfully i've probably failed all of them but i guess i gotta try my best and get over these problems.

i know i can, and i will. will be hard? yes i expect so, but i will do it.

this past week was a pretty bad week, a lot of the time i've felt super super emo and all that, and well at some points, dying felt like the better option. ok im not saying that i contemplated committing suicide but im just saying that sometimes dying didn't seem like such a bad idea.but then i remembered, that committing suicide is wrong (obviously) that i have plenty of life to live, and that if i die now, there will be so many things i haven't done yet. and i told myself that i can't die because well.....life is unfair, life is bad, but in the end, we were given a chance to live by god, so why not do him proud and do some good in this world? and i also remembered that i can't die now because i have a promise to keep to someone

so am i better? well i'll always get better right? sadness, as painful as it is, is mostly temporary. and as always, if we smile our way through it, it'll be ok. so to all my friends, im sorry if you thought im emo, or dying or irritating or irritable. yes im an idiot, but aren't we all sometimes?

so as of now, james is alright, dont worry about him ( i mean not like you were actually worrying about me right? -_-")

Day 13 Mission "promise"

2008-10-25T00:11:00.002+08:00

well well back from a day of fun and games
it was SUCH a brilliant day

ok so i woke up at 9 and went to school to hand up some forms and clean up my locker and i must admit, at that point in time i was really emo...like really really sad...as though i could burst into tears on the mrt or something. cause life seemed really....overwhelming at the time

thne i came back and had tuition which was...boring i guess. i just wanted time to go faster becauseeee

after that i went off to simeons house where we played american idol and singstar...ooommmgggg i discovered today that there are some notes that only i can reach :D just listen to the song "september" and listen out for the high part, hear that? ok now you know that James can sing it :D

then after that i went with sherwin and weiwen to the class chalet, where i immdiatly became the centre of attention as i unpacked my wii so we played that for awhile and then we played football

and the teachers there also assured me that vice chair aint so bad

"its ok the vice is usually that more important one and the chair is like the face of the organisation"

oh how nice so i have to do all the work -_-
but its ok i guess, as you can see im kinda over it so im fine now :D

tomorrow doesn't sound as fun as today...not nearly but i hope it'll be ok

im happy yes i know

thats good right? :D

Day 12 Mission "promise"

2008-10-23T22:56:00.002+08:00

gosh ok feels like so long that i've blogged but anyway
today was the last day of school yay!, ok so it should have been a really happy fun day.....SHOULD HAVE been

i spent the actual school day collecting my report book and school mag and stuff like that then i realised that i have to go back tomorrow JUST to give some damn forms....damn irritating. So after that i went to my mum's office to hang around for awhile and get lunch there cause at 1 i had to go back to school AGAIN for the CO meeting where we would decide the comittee and chairperson

ok im going to say this now, if i say "i dont expect to be chairman" im totally lying. and so im not chairman...... so now if i say "its ok that im not chairman" once again im totally lying

yes im not chairman....am i bugged?....if i said im not... im lying AGAIN.....
so yes i was pretty depressed...and irritated

by the way, yes i am vice chairman again, does that suck? yes slightly.........

so after that i went over the jevon's house to chill for awhile before going out with him and vernon for desiree's birthday. We went to giraffe which is this place near plaza sing....like big plate small food...so yeah. its pretty nice i guess. and i had fun i guess... i shan't say more

then i went home and here i am...tired out...sad...irritated...tired...and tired again

tomorrow i gotta go to school
come back for tuition and after that
maybe i might to simeon's house
maybe, lets hope so

as for now
leave me alone please i need to clear my head

Day 10 Mission "promise"

2008-10-21T16:58:00.002+08:00

back to school, and it was such a waste of time

so we had assembly then there was the obs briefing, which i wasn't listening to cause im not going (wheee!) then there was a student forum with alan lim, very boring again and like...the answers were all routine and expected.

then we had recess and after recess we were supposed to go to the concert hall for SOMETHING not that i would know cause my class was called to do interviews with the teachers.

ok so the interview was...really shitty and i hated it, basically all the people who didn't do well have to go for it. and i really wanted it to go well, i know the teachers just want the best for us and they mean well and they want to give up good advice and all that. so this is all i remembered from my interview ( there was more)

"your hair looks like what i clean my toilet bowl with"
"you didn't add value to the school"
"with these results you can't even go to poly"
"i dont see the fire in your eyes, i only see the hokkien words "bo chup""
"you cannot be so iffy about your future!"
"why didn't you study?"

ok im sorry but ALL those lines really aren't my ideas of "advice" or "motivation".....stupid interview? well as good as it could have been, yeah it was incredibly stupid.

so with all due respect to the teachers there, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

on a side note i got my ic today :D

Day 8 Mission "promise"

2008-10-20T16:13:00.002+08:00

gosh ok its been quite a while since i've blogged, i really haven't had the time

so last friday yes i finally got my results back, and.........wellll at least i improved? i just have to accept what i got and work harder to improve on it.i wish i could've done better but whats done is done so i'll let it rest

then last saturday there was the catholic youth day thing, which was..........really surprisingly fun, like seriously fun. so yeah we sang really loud and jumped about and had fun and praised the lord and like.....yeah..... then after that i went to supper with vernon and desiree and vernon was being all....emo-ish and desiree kept on laughing at me ( i promise im not THAT funny to laugh at)

yesterday was an incredibally short day, mostly cause i woke up at like 1.30. but dont blame me, i slept at 4.30 the night before. i couldn't sleep, my insides felt like they were jumping around inside me and it was soo annoying. then i ended up sleeping at 4.30 last night again -_-

so i woke up this morning at about 11.30 and had lunch. then i watched good luck chuck which was pretty funny. im gonna watch get smart now ( its a damn funny movie go watch!)

overall, it was a pretty incredible weekend, the youth day was seriously......life-changing? nahhh but it was pretty amazing, i felt so....well i dont know i cant describe it.

but all the same, i know i shouldn't have felt emo at the time
James you idiot..........

Day 7 Mission "promise"

2008-10-16T18:52:00.002+08:00

i read my seniors blog, his last post gave me something to think about. whether i really am serious, i wish i could be as serious as he is

i mean what he wrote there it was as though it was a template for something i should do, but well obviously im not going to do that. but whatever it is, its given me something to think about, and i think it has helped me clear my mind a lot.

so to that unnamed senior, yes you've helped alot without knowing it, even though we were never really that close in real life, i guess you've really helped me out.

so so, today i went dragonboating which went pretty well i guess, i mean, before i knew it, it was over, and there was nothing left to look forward to except results tomorrow, jeez im worried.

im sure im going to improve from the mid years, but still, considering how bad i did for mid-years, my results are still gonna be pretty bad.

well i guess there's nothing left except to hope and pray for something good, i know the lord will help those who deserve it, i have no idea whether i deserve it or not, but hey if i dont, then i'll get what i deserve.

well i guess thats pretty much it, im nervous about tomorrow, even though there's nothing else i can do about it. and there's so many other things going on around me, sigh i wish it could slow down a little.

lord please help me

Day 3 Mission "promise"

2008-10-15T20:07:00.004+08:00

school tomorrow
CO report due....errr soon

damnit...
well i dont know what to feel now, there's school tomorrow which is going to be damn boring, or maybe scary for me i dunno. stupid dragonboating, stupid sep

then on friday im getting back my results, sigh i wish i never had to get my results, im really scared, but i guess i've done my best and there's nothing much else i can do

and after that i think all the pressure and fear will subside. i hope....

i went out with eugene today, lol we ended up playing lan for the whole day, and i still suck at dota -_-

oh well, nothing to blog about today

Day 2 Mission "promise"

2008-10-14T18:14:00.003+08:00

"absence makes the heart grow fonder", i really couldn't agree with this phrase more.

ok so today was a pretty boring day, i woke up, slacked about and burned time until it was time to leave for the hospital. so yes i finally got that heart reader thing removed, and yes i've just taken a shower so i feel nice and clean now.

tomorrow is gonna be another day of...nothing, i think i better get started on that report for co, but i cant really be bothered just yet....

then on thursday i got dragon boating...for that stupid sports education programme bullcrap. i'll bet its one of peter tan's dumbass ideas. but oh well i guess it'll be fun, i mean even though it concerns like....water and all..

and on friday i'll know my results, i feel the fear coming

"jealousy taints the heart and soul", another phrase i couldn't agree more on

Day 1, Mission "promise"

2008-10-13T23:39:00.004+08:00

ok so you know what? today i felt like some test subject. today i woke up, at like 11, so i had lunch then i went to the cardio to have my checkup, which is supposed to be a yearly thing, but i hadn't gone for like 4 years.

so when i got there, i really forgot how small the place was, small as in, all the furniture was really small. and thats cause its a baby and child clinic.....so can you imagine how i felt? this big tall hairy teenager among a bunch of small cute little kids.

riight ok so i went to see dr yip (who i once called dr bom bom dont ask why) . he seemed less fun now..... or maybe im just old. so anyway, since i hadn't been there in so long there was a whole bunch of stuff i was supposed to do. so first i went to the heart rate machine thing where they stick lots of wires onto you and you have to lie still for 10 mins, i think its called ecg or something. i nearly couldn't fit onto the bed caused i had grown so much. then i had the scanning thing, you know that thing that pregneant women go for? to see their kids in their wombs? yeah i did that, just that instead of checking out some baby they were checking out my heart. now i really couldn't fit on the bed so i had to curl up...uncomfortable much. then after that i did a blood presure check then a jab for some diseases. then i had to put on this 24 hour heart checking thing..
errmm maybe a picture will help

ok so you see that grey box? thats the main device, notice the wires

ok now notice the wires split up into like 6 different wires

now notice those wires go up my shirt? thats cause they're all stuck on me right now, and i need to leave them on until 4pm tomorrow. yes they're extremly irritating and my brother called me "bionic man".....ookaayyy

so after that, i went to the dermatologist....thats just a fancy word for skin doctor. so yeah since my face is pretty bad i went to go have it treated and she also gave me about a million different creams to put on day AND night.........so troublesome but i guess its for my own good.

then after that i went to zara to buy my suit. YES i finally got my suit. wheee so nice, now i dont have to spend hours looking in every shop for suits...its damn tiring and my parents always complain i have a perky butt.....i do NOT have a perky butt!!!!

then after that on the way home. this absolute dumbass whacked the back of my mum's car....now i really fail to see how someone could go so fast as to hit someone on the back..in a freaking jam....what a dumbass...

and yesterday..something happened......it wasn't a bad thing for sure, but it sure didn't make me feel good. but whatever it is i know myself better now i guess. and to that person, i promise that i'll try to be better, not so foolish, not so idiotic. because i care, because you matter, i will change.

for god so loved the world he gave his one and only son (john 3:16)

2008-10-12T17:17:00.002+08:00

sigh James you stupid stupid paranoid insecure boy......

well today started out fine, i woke up, realised i was late for mass and so i went to class, which was....well not really that fun this week. i have a feeling i know why.

then after that i went to lunch with my family which was alright then i went to paragon with my parents to look at suits. i swear we must've looked at thousands of suits ( ok in reality i only tried on about maybe 20 suits) but either way, i had a massive headache ( actually i still do) and it was (is) killing me. but anyway i realise that trying on suits is actually quite nice. i dunno wearing a suit makes me look nice and smart :D ( hugo boss suits are nice)

oh and when i look back, i realise that actually yesterday was actually pretty shitty, once again the reason why is obvious to me. and the reason really bothers me......

anyway tomorrow i got an appointment with the cardio, jeez its been a long time since i've seen him. well hopefully tomorrow will be better.

sigh James insecurity is bad for you............

2008-10-11T17:05:00.002+08:00

ok so i haven't really blogged in a while, haven't had the time or interest. the problem i have with blogging is that....well my memory is too crappy to remember anything interesting to blog about, i know i have PLENTY of interesting things to blog about but i end up forgetting it all

so oh well its alright, i just do it anyway

so anyway what has happened? mainly, exams. its gone and ended really quick. so how do i feel? hmmmmmmm welllll......................it was...................alright
seriously that all i can say about these exams, it was mediocore, i know im going to fail things, but hey, at least i know that.

another thing is that i've noticed that after confirmation i've.......changed. i notice that i try to include god in my life a bit more now. and guess what? it really really helps a lot. so anyone in need just go to our best friend up in heaven and i promise that he'll help you.

so anyway after exams finish..things look well as though its too normal. i can't really explain it and i know it soudns wayyy too vague. but maybe im just worried about co again....

and holidays are around the corner! yayy and since now im skipping obs..hehehe

ok i know that my posts are very disjointed and random but dont complain im just like that

but anyway since the year is coming to a close soon, i must say this year was pretty life changing i guess now i know what people mean when they say sec 3 is a really important year and also when they say "the friends you make in secondary school will alter your life forever" this year i've managed to get into trouble more (still no dc's thought :D), get teased more, and more unimportant things. but most importantly, i've managed to learn sooo much more about myself
its strange that i never knew so much but hey, i guess the more we grow the more we know

well i'll be blogging more from now on i suppose, cause no matter what my exam results are, the fact is that its the holidays, means i have more time, and means more interesting things happen, trust me.

the fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the lord shall be safe-proverbs 29:25

2008-09-24T18:05:00.002+08:00

oh mann
ok so i haven't posted in a long time
either no time
or no mood
but either way i'll post a nice long post after exams
for now
well
things are moving fast
very very fast
and it's pretty scary
yes im extremly scared
so what has happened since my last post?
well....a whole lot of studying ( a first for me
honours day (crap crap crap crap stupid damn waste of time)
umm... night studying (ok so alex lee aint that scary)
and probably a lot of other things that i can't remember
so exams are on friday
and im....really really scared
but i know that as long as i do my best
it'll be alright
so see you after the exams

love is a journey that knows no end

2008-09-08T18:33:00.002+08:00

so the holidays have come and gone, really really quickly. sigh yeah "holidays"
ok so what did i do during holidays?
i studied, went to school, studied, went to school, studied, went to school.
and on sunday, easily the most exciting day of last week, i had confirmation
right so now im confirmed, how does it feel? well....it feels...really good actually
can't really explain but thats how i feel
and now cat class is over, yeah im gonna be missing everyone alot for sure.
and i didnt take any pictures which i regret...alot...like really alot..
and well....now that i dont have class, i realise how much it meant to me
what a big part of my life it played
how it changed me
how it made me love and appreciate christ more
yeah..im gonna miss class
sure it was crazy
sure it drove me nuts sometimes
sure sometimes it depressed me
but hey, its still losing something
something valuable..
so thats pretty sad

so today's the first day of school...no more homeroom system
damn peter tan
but hey i must say
for a day where i thought was going to be really crappy
it was...really fun
we had about 4 periods of doing nothing
just sitting around and talking and walking along the corridors to talk to other classes
fun? yes
but strangely enough
doing nothing is pretty exhausting

and so now im at home
tired as hell
and things are bugging me (as usual -_-)
sigh

how did i ever get so lucky to have you?

2008-09-02T11:09:00.002+08:00

ok so i haven't really been blogging cause
1. i have no mood for it
2. no time
but...its the holidays now, and i actually feel like blogging
ok so these past few weeks have been
scary
stressful
busy
and sometimes, in some smalllll periods
it's been happy
so its the "holidays" now....ok they're not really holidays
but anyway the highlight of this week has got to be confirmation
last saturday i went for a retreat in church
ok it was really normal
stan and mike were retarded
we made retarded posters
we argued about ACS and SJI (obviously ACS is better)
we went for confession
and we pretty much, had lots of fun
this sunday might be the last time i see all the church people
sad? yeah no doubt
these people have made church a real part of my life
from the small kid who didn't really care much about church
to the not-so-small kid who actually cares quite a lot about it
yeah you guys really made a difference in my life
and so no more cathecism after church now....its gonna be really strange
anyway for any of you who are reading this
you better become facils
it'll be damn fun :D

anyway other then that
in my normal boring school life
exams are coming...
shit
i'm so screwed
save me

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

2008-09-01T01:47:00.004+08:00

Alone, failure, promise
i never realised how strong this words were
they resonated in my body
and shattered my heart

2008-08-24T21:42:00.003+08:00

well
a week has past
i haven't had the time to blog so yeahh
things are changing, really really fast
sigh it's hard keeping up
no wait im not even keeping up
emotions get in the way of everything, they screw up everything and yet
they're so important
what am i to do?
sighh yes in case you haven't really noticed
i'm depressed
depressed emo blah blah
i dont know why but nevermind
so today's the last day of the olympics
well it's kinda sad i guess
i wish i could've watched more but too bad
its also kinda good for me i guess
these kinds of things always make me feel really uninformed
as though there's too many things happenning at once
so oh well
next week is the last week of the term
man..time flies when you're suffering
so only a little bit more until exams
i am sooo screwed....
well thats all i can bear to type now
i feel so inadequate.......

will i ever be good enough?

2008-08-17T22:14:00.003+08:00

lright so my weekend
hmm pretty good really
CO on sat morning
and chem remedial
all quite ok
but CO is...i dunno...
then math tuition
by that time i felt really shitty
but after that i felt better
then i went home and slacked off
went for seafood at night
(wasted my time)
and missed my match
oh well
arsenal still won
oh yeah i forgot
on the way home from tuition
my dad brought me to see our new house

ok yes i realise it's still kinda...errrmm....unfinished
but hopefully by the end of the year
i'll be in there

and yes i'll be blogging from this...uhh..."room"
cause yes it's my room
yes MY room
finally i get my own room
anyway
today went to mass with my sis
then cat class which was alright
then my sis and i bought back lunch
then i got some bad news
failed a test...again...stupid stupid stupid
but after that i kinda got better
so i slacked off the whole day
then i watched singapore get owned
ok admittedly i wasn't really expecting anything
but i think china let singapore win some games
bleahh
retarded...
oh well
tomorrow back to school
and one less weekend before we all die

past the darkness
past the suffering
past the pain
past the anger
past the hate
there's you
true love <3

2008-08-13T21:22:00.003+08:00

right so i haven't really updated lately
umm no reason
just haven't really felt like blogging
so umm nothing much has been happening
i mean it's just school
school school school school
work work work work
play play play play play play
normal boyish-teenagerish-15yearoldish stuff
is it boring?
yes it is
but life's like that i guess
or at least
school life is like that
and i just realised
holidays are coming
normally if i were younger
i'd jump for joy or something
but now at sec 3
september holidays means
doom is arriving
uh oh
better start preparations i guess

opposites attract<3

2008-08-09T18:58:00.003+08:00

right ok so today was pretty cool
woke up in the morning and got a life from my sis to go to orchard
i met up with my CO seniors and benedict
ben's leaving on monday to go study
so we met up at orchard mrt
then went to shaw centre macs
and we were there for like
4 hours
lol just sitting there
talking talking bullshitting talking more bullshitting
then ben had to leave for a conference call about CO
uh oh
anyway after that we decided to leave and follow benedict on his shopping trip
he needed to get some stuff for his trip
since he "hasn't had the time" to shop...yeah right
so first he went to look for a "luggage cover"
we were all like WTF?
so we said it must be a condom for his luggage in case it ejaculates
LOL
then after that he left us and we decided to go play lan and paradiz
on the way there
i saw shawn from YLA!
he's at BMT now so he's bald
hahaha looks damn funny
so after that played lan for like 2 hours
in which i got owned in
battlefield 2
dota
and generals.....
oh well
then after that me, lukas, gabriel and ying qiang went to eat chicken rice
where i got a call from my sis
"you better come home now, dad's home already and he keeps on asking where you are"
i was like OH SHIT
so i rushed home
and he wasn't there -_-
he went to buy dinner
which i just had lol
so here i am
im bored
and im loving this short holiday we have

and im missing you <3

2008-08-07T19:42:00.002+08:00

alright so i haven't really blogged in awhile
i dunno i guess i haven't really had the time these past few days
so firstly
my com actually crashed
that um...sucked. so i had to reformat it which was like really really troublesome
that meant backing up all my files. see? really troublesome
so now it's fixed
today at school,during chinese class, for some reason my teacher started talking about blogs
and so my "friends" shouted loudly "go to james' blog!" (in chinese of course)
so jeremy happily went to type the URL in her laptop and so my blog appeared on the screen.....
what
the
hell
so anyway after that had recess and a pretty boring day
ESPECIALLY chem tution after that
it was SOO boring
ughh
anyway after i went home, fell asleep on the train, missed my stop, went back, walked home in the rain.
and here i am
feeling good
half day tomorrow and a long weekend
am i happy?
no shit i am

You didn't run, you didn't lie
You know I want to hold you.<3

2008-08-05T17:17:00.002+08:00

hey people
i think i may have fallen sick
but oh well i dont think i can skip school
cause my mum's not in town.....damnit
so today was pretty alright
had chem spa which was scary...
but alex lee always scares me
then A math which was slack
i think i may actually understand this chapter
then history which...we totally didn't listen but oh well
then chinese which was once again really slack
then we had a lit test
i felt it was quite hard
and im scared i didn't answer the question properly
then english which once again was really slack
lol actually quite a fun day

Sandisk Sansa Fuze
I WANT
yes i know it's a rip off of the ipod
but hey
i dont really have a problem with that
so...anyway with a spare $180 to spend on me
get that :D

where'd you go?
i missed you so<3

2008-08-02T22:01:00.002+08:00

not exactly a good day
dont wanna talk about it
wasn't even a good week
well
hoping for a better next week

because you're there
i wanna continue living <3

2008-08-01T22:13:00.002+08:00

well today was alright
quite good actually
had PE which was fun
then chem and physics...physics spa still sucks
then recess and english and lit
all slack periods
then LS which was..useless
then after school i went out with
vernon,jevon,nick ting,derrick and david
to coca to celebrate jevon's birthday
we had cake and all so yeahh
quite fun
then i came home and slacked off
it's the weekends again..
it's strange......
we cheer when the weekends come
when every weekend that comes
signifies one less week to study for exams
weird right? oh well im still gonna cheer :D

What could a guy like me
Ever really offer?
She's perfect as she can be
Why should I even bother? <3

2008-07-31T18:17:00.002+08:00

right so ummm
i've been really tired the past few days
past few weeks have been quite busy so yeah
plus i slept at like 2 yesterday
anyway yesterday was quite sian...
as far as i can remember anyway
then had tuition
then went to aunty aileen's 50th birthday
which explains why i slept so late
then today was...well it started horribly
i forgot that today had like 3 tests
and so i was totally unprepared
so first we had the physics test which was...quite easy i guess
i could do it anyway
then there was the ss test
which i also think i can pass
then there was the A math test
and well...it's A math so do you really need to ask?
then i found out that tuition got cancelled
which was...GREAT
yes so i came home and downloaded some stuff
then i went to sleep
and here we are
jeez i really need to study
things are....well i think life's pretty messed up now

hold me like you'll never let me go <3

2008-07-29T18:41:00.002+08:00

today was quite sian
had double chem
then A math
then history
then chinese
ok that was the end of the sian-ness
after that we had lit
where we cancelled the test for the sake of finishing midsummers night dream
lol quite cool
then we had english
which was really slack as usual
then after that sam eio wasted our time by making us wait for him so he can tell us some useless things
then after that i went home
i've started watching bleach
lol looks quite cool
A math test tomorrow
uh oh

forever is for you<3

You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
because love dont come easy
Its a game of give and take

2008-07-28T21:17:00.003+08:00

today.....was a pretty good day
there was school which went by quite quickly
then chem remedial which was also ok
then on the way home i discovered that tuition was cancelled
yayyyy
so i went home and slacked off
and here i am
really feeling a lot better now
hopefully tomorrow will be as good
but....we always get into trouble on tuesdays....
butt well
here's hoping for a good tomorrow
oh yeah
this came in today (THANKS MADAM)
3B2 with janice huang and grace leong
THE ALLIANCE ZHING!!

now that i know
im even more in love with you <3

Isnt she lovely
Isnt she wonderfull
Isnt she precious
Isnt she pretty
Truly the angels best
Boy, Im so happy
I have been heaven blessed

2008-07-27T19:41:00.002+08:00

well now im feeling a LOT better
and yes
im sorry for being such a bastard
it was my fault i know
yes yes sorry
thats over now
and im feeling a lot better
like seriously
im really happy now
so....yayyyy
lol
actually...i think moey's probably having his concert now
lol weird
well james is a happy kid now

and it's because of you
that i feel this way
and now i feel
that it's possible <3

All the love in the world cant be gone
All the need to be loved cant be wrong

2008-07-27T15:44:00.001+08:00

in a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very shitty mood now

2008-07-27T14:51:00.002+08:00

well yesterday was fun
lol went to school and tuition like normal
then came home
fought with my parents
then vernon asked me out...riiight at like 7
so off i went down all the way to orchard
to watch the dark knight with him and desiree
we finished at about 11+
im never going to forgive him for making me feel like the ultimate 3rd wheel
anyway then i cabbed home
and didnt have enough money....
brilliant right?
lucky my bro was home so i called him down to pay
then bathed and went to bed
at 2am
next morning (i.e this morning)
7 am wake up for mass
ughh so tired
i was kinda falling asleep during mass
didnt really listen to the homily
it sounded reallyyy confusing to me
then went for class where we finished watching august rush
it had a CRAP ending
like the ultimate cliche movie
but oh well
then went home and here i am
im kinda feeling sad
too many things on my mind
too many things confusing me
too many problems
too many things to worry about
and the future's looking bleak...

im happy that you're happy <3

Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me
So I can say this is the way that I used to be
There's no substitute for time
Or for the sadness

2008-07-25T21:21:00.002+08:00

well today...really wasn't as bad as i thought
had school in the morning
PE is really fun
chem was alright
physics spa....well thats always a bitch
then i got to leave school early for investiture
and firstly
those damn idiots didnt tell me that i didnt have to bring my black shoes and long sleeve shirt
....what ass holes
so anyway nevermind
i went...it was boring
i didnt enjoy it
all i'll say is
is it jealousy?
no doubt it is
so then after that went to CIP at KWS hospital
well once again
it was really depressing
just like last year when i went
but it was alright i guess
talked to an old man the whole time
he was pretty cool i guess
then came back to school
and played soccer with my classmates again
really cool
i must say
one of life's greatest pleasures:
playing football in the rain with your friends
so here i am now
really tired
got another full day tomorrow
sighhh i wish time could stop

here i am for you <3

Think of me when you're coming down
But don't look back when leaving town
Think of me when you close your eyes
But don't look back when you break all ties

2008-07-24T18:54:00.002+08:00

today was....well pretty good
school was alright
pretty slack and all
then after that went to tuition
which was....super super super boring
i was falling asleep
luckily i didnt
then had to come home myself
which meant
taking a bus to dover
then from dover all the way back to tanah merah....
yeahh 18 stops...jeez
anyway
tomorrow's going to be horrible
got school
then investiture
and phototaking DURING investiture (dunno how im going to do that)
then got CIP
i think it's just the investiture that pisses me off
it's not necessary for me to be there!
wtf go and stand up to show my damn support?
WTF? I DONT EVEN SUPPORT HIM
waste my damn time
damn council
damn school
damn teachers

dont worry
i'll be there for you
no matter what <3

lay down next to me
Close your eyes, lay down
'Cos there goes the fear
Let it go

2008-07-23T20:49:00.004+08:00

well i actually had a horrible feeling about today
i couldn't even sleep properly
so i went to school
first few periods were ok
quite slack
then had history test
which was also ok since its history
then recess then had a math test
also quite easy cause its data analysis
then A math which was boring
then after school our class took pics with grace leong and janice huang
our ex english teachers
so we have another alliance photo lol
then after that i went out with jeremy wen and lucas
we went to serene to have lunch
so we bought macs and wen had the brilliant idea to go upstairs to eat
so fine we did that
and got chased away
yeahh.....good job wen
lol
then after that i went to cut my hair
then came home and slacked off the whole day
so well
actually quite an ok day

oh yeah also
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSIE
hah you're finally 14
a little older but still as small as ever
haha :D

everyone has their happy endings eventually
can i have mine with you?<3

I found that love,
provides The key
unlocks, the heart and souls, of you and me
Love will love, to sing your song,
Love is written in the stone

2008-07-22T21:59:00.003+08:00

feeling horrid right now
bad news just keeps on piling up
i think im screwed tomorrow
only did the bare minimum of work today
horrible horrible
doom is coming
i know it

is it just me
or are we drifting apart?
im sorry if i did something to cause it
i just hope my suspicions are all wrong
i hope im just being my worried self again

2008-07-22T16:40:00.003+08:00

school was alright today
got some homework which sucks
and got scolded again
usual for tuesday i suppose
lit class only had 7 people in the classroom
crazy stuff
then we got a new english teacher
who we all bullied
anyway after school wei wen got me to follow him to city hall
he needed to kill time before tuition
so being a friend, i followed him
what a mistake
firstly we burnt the rest of the little money we had on lunch
(he said "eat cheap" yeah right)
then on the way home
the mrt was damn screwed up
it made me get off at eunos cause there was something up with the train
then the next train i got on kept on stopping and starting
in between stops.....which was retarded
and all this wouldn't have happened if i didnt follow wei wen
stupid wei wen.....

it'll be hard
people will doubt
but i believe it's possible <3

and now i know
now i know
now i know
i know that it's you

2008-07-21T22:09:00.002+08:00

i thought today was going to be hell
but i guess it turned out ok
just lots of work
and school
and tests
and remedial
and tuition
and homework
so oh well
everythings done now
so its alright now

i know everyone's going to doubt it
but i'll be true to my word
and i promise i'll do my best
for us to be together <3

What I want, you've got
What I've got's full stock of thoughts
and dreams that scatter
You pull them all together
And how, I can't explain
But You make my dreams come true

2008-07-20T18:24:00.003+08:00

today was a pretty ok day
boring but pretty happy and all
went to church in the morning
then went to class and watched some movie
made stupid cracks at the movie
went for lunch
then came home
nice and boring
but at least im happy

you were always there
but i never noticed you
everyday i get to know more about you
and everyday i fall in love with you a little bit more <3

Can't explain
I think it's love
Try to say it to you
When I feel blue

2008-07-19T17:33:00.002+08:00

well saturday again
another day
another routine
woke up
co
tuition
home
jeez boring
but ah well its alright i guess
on the way home today i felt....weirdddd
although i think i know why.....
but the rain helped me clear my thoughts

i looked for love
and i found you <3

walking on the hills at night
with the fireworks and candlelight
you and i were made be in love

2008-07-18T19:39:00.002+08:00

well today was games day
meaning it was a day of slacking and doing nothing
i was playing handball and we...didnt win?
but TCT got second in C div and first in B div
so thats pretty cool i guess
then went to investiture rehearsal
a TOTAL WASTE OF MY TIME
seriously...stupid damn council
im not even in it
why the hell do i have to be there?
and tomorrow its back to practice
man i haven't touched my er hu in like 2 weeks
then tuition
ughh
i just realised
weeks are passing damn quick
exams are coming
in a flash
they're here
and we're all doomed

my only wish
is that i may be good enough for you <3

You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes

2008-07-17T19:39:00.006+08:00

another totally uneventful and boring and blah day
well schools quite screwed
my class keeps on getting scolded and punished
rather screwed up
but its ok...
i guess
school wasn't exactly good
neither was tuition
but after tuition
i must say
life's looking up
games day tomorrow
should be fun and slack
not like im expecting to win or anything
then got investiture rehearsal
its going to be a waste of time and i so dont need to be there
just cause the dumb school wants me to be there...
waste my time...
damn school
hate them
but all in all
i guess its alright
maybe

no matter what you think of yourself
i think you're wonderful <3

nothing you can make that can't be made
no one you can save that can't be saved
nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time
it's easy
all you need love

2008-07-16T22:06:00.004+08:00

so umm
firstly sorry to anyone who i didnt reply yesterday
i kinda slept for umm like 17 hours?
so yeahhh
umm nvm
secondly i may have lost my foolscap and im scared as hell
so yeahhh
and thirdly
TODAY WAS TOTALLY AWESOME AND ITS THE BEST DAY IN 3B2 HISTORY
ok so we has school which i totally didnt enjoy
cause i couldn't find my foolscap and like i couldn't focus at all
then there was the field trip
which was totally useless propaganda and it was nothing
then (this is the good part)
there was the class party for cynthia tan
so everyone was like damn crazy
dancing
tau pok-ing
shouting
and a lot of ZHINGGGG!!!!
so yeahh
really really good time
then we went to play football
which was really great
today felt like the first day
where the class was really
seriously
truly
united
and thats pretty awesome

THE ALLIANCE, ZHINGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

everyday i feel like im one step closer
one step in the long journey for your love <3

you know,
I could pick you up
Turn your life around
I would build you up
never let you down

2008-07-15T14:50:00.004+08:00

now if you look at the time of the post
its a little early for me to be home
if i got home at normal time today
it would be 2.30 (got racial harmony day)
but im got sick
so i went home early
and i got home at 11
yayy
yup so im sick
i got a cold and headache
my brain was getting pretty screwy at school
couldn't really think straight
which sucks... but means i get to stay home and sleeeep
soo yeah im just slacking off again
just resting and trying to get better

waiting hurts
but i'll wait for you
im not usually a patient person
but i will be one for you

could it be, could it be
that you're joking with me
and you dont really see you with me

2008-07-14T20:10:00.002+08:00

well
not a very good day really
first i went to school totally terrified of the day ahead
then i discovered i failed...really really badly for a math
then i only JUST escaped DC
then i got a ton of homework
then there was chem remedial
and i missed a student council meeting
and i hate student council
and i had tuition
and im tired
and i got work...
riiiight ookaayy
at least there's early release tomorrow i think
and no practice so can relax
and i swear my memory is just getting worse by the day
its terrible
well nevermind
wars aren't won by sitting around emoing
just gotta soldier on

i'm really sorry if i freaked you out
i hope i didnt blow it again
i hope i didnt mess up

Our hearts were ringing
In the key that our souls were singing
As we danced in the night,
Remember how the stars stole the night away

2008-07-13T21:44:00.006+08:00

This is what we were doing when we were "preparing" for litfest
so these epic videos
brought to you by
lead actors:
Jeremy Cheong
Johnathan Tan
Ho Kai Feng
and ace camera man:
James Tan

Chasing Jeremy

Pimp Our Ride 2

sorry for bad quality
after all its just my camera phone

2008-07-13T18:29:00.003+08:00

another boring boring boring day
sighh
school dampen's everything
so i went to mass then class today
class got me down
i dont really know why
then came home
and slacked off
boring boring boring

i already told you
i'd wait a lifetime for you
and i thank you for giving me this chance
this chance to prove how serious i am about you

I never met a girl who makes me feel the way that you do.
Whenever I'm asked who makes my dreams real
I say that you do.

2008-07-12T21:48:00.000+08:00

legends

2008-07-12T17:30:00.004+08:00

my com is being such a bitch
well
signs that i need i new one i guess
anyway
today was...really tiring
actually this WEEK's been really tiring
so i got up at about 5.45 to get to school at 7
which was retarded cause we ended up waiting for like 15 mins?
then watched the others put on some face paint while we fairies slacked around
then it was time to go! to crescent girls school
and us being acs barker
we were late
so we went in
set up the booth
ok thats a lie
me and johnathan were fooling around with the trolley
but ok nevermind
so we set up the booth
and slacked around until some people came to watch
so cheng liangs group performed first
and after today
i think cheng liang isin't as thoughtful
but nevermind
then it was our turn
so there was me in the pink afro
johnathan in the orange wig
and jeremy with umm wings
(but after the first time we decided to rotate the props)
then there was tim with his face all painted
and the star
the most ultimate hardcore person in the WHOLE performance
kai feng
dressed
as
a
queen
yes titania to be exact and it was hilarious
so after that
we went to watch the poetry slam
and ended up staying there for the whole time
so 4 days of practice
4 days of staying back in school
all wasted...
how retarded
oh well
then after that went to tuition and slept through half of it
damnnn tired
and then here i am now
worn out
and looking for something to do

seeing you so happy
makes me happy too
i dont care what others say about you
cause it's what i think that matters
and i think you're wonderful

as pretty as you are
you know you could have been a flower
if good looks were a minute
you know you coud have been an hour
the way you stole my heart
you know you could have been a crook
and baby you're so sweet
you know you could have been some honey

2008-07-11T22:06:00.002+08:00

just got home from school
ughh tired as hell
litfest tomorrow morning...
i hope we dont look like fools (we prabably will)
oh well
i think it'll be fun
just hope everything will be ok

CONGRATS CHRISTINE
see? i told you, you could do it :D

can you show me
the way to your heart?

You didn't run, you didn't lie
You know I want to hold you.
And had you gone you knew in time
We'd meet again for I had told you.
Ooh, you were meant to be near me.
Ooh, I really want for you to hear me
Say we'll be together every day.

2008-07-10T23:36:00.003+08:00

ok so im done with work
heh i've been getting sloppy with work so its an achievement
so feeling a lot better now
tired so gonna sleep now i think

for once
you didnt speak to me tonight
and for once
the first time in a long time
i didnt mind

but YOU did
and im over the moon because of you

2008-07-10T19:45:00.003+08:00

well
totally uneventful and boring day
AGAIN
i think all these boring days must be getting me down
sighhhh
ok
so litfest this sat
hooray
really nothing to blog about
SIGHHH

love is a long hard and often frustrating journey
but we just have to trust in it
keep at it
and follow it no matter what
i know i will
for you

cause this should be a thrill
but it feels like a drill

2008-07-09T19:55:00.002+08:00

feeling a lot better today
school was pretty boring
no interesting happenings
for some reason it seemed rather quiet...
hmm maybe i was imagining things
then went for litfest practice thing
and well
im mustardseed
and im going to have green hair
hooorayy......
lol well i hope it'll be ok

i hope im not getting myself into another failure again
but i must have faith

All my love and all my heart go with you
Just look into my eyes and what can you see?
But all my love and all the time keep with me
I'll keep you with me

2008-07-08T23:17:00.002+08:00

ok i have no mood for anything
and im sooo dead for school tomorrow
i haven't done ANY work
and i just have no mood
sighhh
ok nevermind
hopefully
my bad feelings won't come true tomorrow

2008-07-08T20:10:00.004+08:00

well
i have no idea how i feel now
technically i should be over the moon
it was an ok day at school
i just slacked the whole day off (again)
and i got a huge load of my chest
but then again
things seem to pile up again
i know people are going to call me emo for this but
"back to the wall
no where to run
no where to hide
out of time
out of ideas
but i'll stand and fight
until the very end"
ok i have no idea what that was but i think it's how i feel
and well maybe cause i just watched 300
heh
and btw
To Tim: i read your blog again i know you're let down but truthfully i did see you as a friend
once. but not now.
and just so you know
im being nice here
one more thing
i have a bad feeling about school tomorrow

my love has changed

and for you
i'll wait as long as you need me to